“Are You a True Trekker? The Shocking Revelation That Divided Our Trivia Team!”

"Are You a True Trekker? The Shocking Revelation That Divided Our Trivia Team!"

What did we witness instead, Rich? A deeply disappointing display of Trek knowledge in the all-too-critical Week 8 of our 13-week trivia season. At this point, our longstanding nemeses the Man-DeLoreans will have to meet the business end of an ahn-woon for us to have a chance at winning it all.

I thought I was very clear with you that Trivia Hell was guaranteed to have a generous dose of Trek questions, and that the Quizmonster has a boner for NuTrek, often dipping into it for his hardest, most herd-culling questions. I was quite emphatic that Andrew is the only team member who is not too busy elsewhere to give Prodigy, Strange New Worlds, and Picard the deep scrutiny they deserve. And you? You swore up and down that you were—to use your exact words—“into all that.” Well, next time we’ll just have to prepare a written quiz before capriciously welcoming newcomers.

You certainly knew your stuff when it came to “The Lights Of Zetar,” the Rozhenko family, the Dominion War, and Delta Quadrant geography, making you both a vintage Trek fan in good standing and utterly redundant on our team.

Let us review just some of the subjects that gave you trouble, Rich: the name of Captain Archer’s dog, the actor who plays Keenser (No, Rich, it was not Verne Troyer. It was not Verne Troyer at all), and who made up the bridge crew of the USS Discovery. They were asking for the crew’s names, mind you—not, say, their blood types or their extracurricular activities at Starfleet Academy. Needless to say, once the match got serious in the second half, you fell apart completely on questions about Rok-Tahk’s backstory and the properties of horonium, turning what should have been a night of triumph and glory into a humiliating Kobayashi Maru scenario, as tortuous as a weekend with Gul Madred.

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