“Behind Closed Doors: Chaos Erupts as Trump Sons Duel for Control of Foreign Policy Power”
In the sun-drenched paradise of Palm Beach, chaos reigns amidst a rather unconventional battle for power! Who would’ve thought that foreign policy meetings could involve slap fights? Yet, here we are, witnessing Donald Trump Jr. and his brother Eric engaging in an all-out brawl—more akin to a playground tussle than a sophisticated diplomatic negotiation. With Donald Jr. wailing for a chance to meet the so-called “samurai king” and Eric sinking his teeth into the situation quite literally, one has to wonder: at what point does sibling rivalry cross over from the absurd into hilariously sad? Grab your popcorn, folks—this is a family drama that rivals any reality TV show! It’s a laughable glimpse into the dynamics that fuel the Trump legacy! <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/TrumpBoysSlappingNIBIHA_GR.webp”>LEARN MORE.
PALM BEACH, FL—Lashing furiously at each other’s faces with their flailing hands, the Trump boys were reportedly engaged in a slap fight Friday over who would get to run their dad’s foreign policy meetings. “No, you got to do it last time, Eric—it’s my turn, it’s mine!” said Donald Trump Jr., who flinched and cried out “Ow!” after his younger brother Eric’s finger nearly made contact with his cheek. “It’s my turn to play with the foreign dignities [sic]! It’s my turn to meet the samurai king! Dad said I get to go on the plane with Uncle Jared! Dad, tell him! Tell him I can meet the samurai king. You promised! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!” At press time, Don Jr. was shrieking at the top of his lungs as Eric sank his teeth into his older brother’s hand.
