“Behind Closed Doors: Trump’s Unprecedented Maneuver to Steal the Spotlight from Carter’s Final Farewell!”

In a world where competition knows no bounds—even in death—President-elect Donald Trump has taken theatrics to new heights with his eye-popping, self-organized state funeral. Yes, folks, as the nation gathered to pay their respects to the dearly departed Jimmy Carter, Trump couldn’t resist slipping into his own coffin, peeking out with a smirk and a quip that he’s “way deader” than the late president. It’s a hilarious, albeit macabre, reminder that ego has no grave. What’s more perplexing? The audacity to demand a month—maybe even a year—of mourning?! Talk about a funeral crashing the competition! It’s a spectacle that begs the question: Is there any limit to Trump’s willingness to commandeer the spotlight? For the curious (and the bemused), the story doesn’t end there—he was reportedly even raising himself up to deliver his own eulogy! Well, isn’t that just the cherry on top? LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—Peeking out of his coffin with one eye open, a jealous President-elect Donald Trump reportedly threw his own state funeral Thursday in an effort to upstage the late Jimmy Carter’s ceremony. “I’m way deader than he is,” mumbled Trump, who lay at the opposite end of the National Cathedral as his senior aides attempted to persuade Carter funeral attendees to leave their seats and pay respects to the 45th president. “This coffin sure is impressive, isn’t it? The guy in here must be super beloved. We’re going to need way more than a national day of mourning. More like a month—but who knows, maybe my mourners will demand a year.” At press time, reports confirmed Trump had sat up in the coffin to deliver his own eulogy.