“Biden’s Bold Thanksgiving Heist: The Turbulent Tale of a Pardoned Turkey and a Presidential Escape!”
In a whimsical twist to an age-old Thanksgiving tradition, President Joe Biden has taken his annual turkey pardon to a brand-new level of absurdity. Imagine the leader of the free world gallivanting off with a feathered friend while uttering, “You’re the Bonnie to my Clyde.” It’s a scene straight out of a satirical Hollywood script—Biden, a convertible, and a turkey on a wild joyride, dodging Secret Service like a couple of lovable outlaws! The irony isn’t lost on us: is this what the turkey’s life has come to—escaping with the President instead of ending up on a dinner plate? As we dive into this surreal escapade, one can’t help but wonder: what kind of secrets does this turkey hold that could lead to such brazen escapism? Buckle up, folks, because this Thanksgiving turkey is about to break free like never before. <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/YoureTheBonnieNIBIHA_GR-copy.jpg”>LEARN MORE.
WASHINGTON—Participating in the annual tradition one last time before leaving office, President Joe Biden reportedly told a pardoned Thanksgiving turkey “You’re the Bonnie to my Clyde” on Monday before running off with it and disappearing over the horizon. “It’s us against the world now, turkey,” said the commander-in-chief, grabbing the bird by the wing and laughing wildly as the two of them fled the White House grounds in a convertible, the turkey’s handlers in hot pursuit. “They’re going to keep coming after us, you know, but I’ve got your back, and I know you’ve got mine. It’ll be just you, me, and the wide open road, together until the end. Don’t worry, I’ve got a cozy little place in Delaware we can hide out in until things die down.” At press time, Biden urged the turkey to take the wheel so that he could fend off the Secret Service agents on their tail.
