Bitcoin Heist Turns Dark: Investor’s Desperate Gamble Leads to Gruesome Ordeal

What’s the price of digital gold these days? Apparently, it’s a stunning combination of handcuffs, jumper cables, and luxury real estate—because nothing says “innovative finance” quite like a crypto investor allegedly kidnapping a man in downtown Manhattan for his Bitcoin password . I mean, have we reached the point in the crypto craze where a hardware wallet is now considered bulletproof vest-level protection? It’s wild—one minute you’re scrolling through your Coinbase portfolio, the next you’re starring in your own low-rent Bond movie, with a villain whose only superpower is HODLing through torture . I can’t decide what’s more shocking: the actual horror of the crime, or the realization that for some, Bitcoin FOMO may be more dangerous than FTX ever was . If your NFTs are making you nervous, just wait—apparently your hot wallet should be, too . Why are the weirdest stories always about crypto bros? LEARN MORE

A 37-year-old cryptocurrency investor was charged with kidnapping a man and beating, shocking and torturing him for weeks inside a luxury townhouse in downtown Manhattan, all in a scheme to get the man’s Bitcoin password. What do you think?

“No amount of torture could make me admit to being into crypto.”

Nick Bastidas, Unemployed

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“Hopefully nobody like this ever finds out how many Dunkin’ rewards points I have.”

Lindsey Zemke, Podcast Uploader

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“It’s horrific to imagine having to spend weeks with a crypto bro.”

Chris Helt, Hydraulics Historian