Bride-To-Be’s Hidden Debt Sparks Shocking Twist in Prenup Talk—What She Tried to Hide Will Shock You
It’s absolutely vital to be on the same page about finances with your partner. Those discussions might be awkward, but they’re necessary
Ideally, every couple is able to get on the same page regarding vital topics like budgets, debt, investments, income, savings, and career paths. However, you probably know from experience how awkward and uncomfortable even broaching these topics can be. Many people feel like talking about money with someone else is somehow ‘wrong.’
CNBC states that couples should aim to start financial discussions early so that they can align their goals and develop a strong foundation for a future together. There’s no ‘perfect’ time to talk about money-related questions; however, it’s best to tackle them before making big decisions like moving in together or getting engaged.
Likely, it won’t be just one single conversation: there will be many, focused on just one or two topics each time. You should consider making those discussions brief (for example, 45 minutes) and spacing them out to have a few days’ break between each one.
“That builds trust and also shows that you don’t have to know everything all at once when it comes to money,” financial therapist and marriage counselor Wendy Wright told CNBC.
Something to keep in mind is that you can put aside the word ‘money’ and hone in on the questions that lie deeper. “When someone is saying, ‘I’m stressed about money,’ they’re probably saying ‘I’m stressed that maybe I’ve made a mistake here,’ or ‘I’m stressed that I won’t be good enough,’” Wright explained.
According to her, each partner should aim to create a ‘money map,’ basically, a timeline of their financial plans, whether that’s an expensive vacation each year or saving a specific sum of money before they retire. It’s important not to judge each other for these goals. Once they are on the map, you can choose what to prioritize.
Wright notes that flexibility is very important when deciding who pays for what in the relationship. Having an open mind is essential. “It’s telling if someone is highly rigid around [finances] and they’re like ‘Oh I make 32.8% more than you, so I’ll pay that much more.’ We want more flexibility. We want to be able to talk about it and say, what are some other ways that someone can contribute?”
What are your thoughts on all of this, dear Pandas? How do you navigate money-related issues with your significant other? How would you react if you found out that your partner had a massive amount of debt that they’d kept hidden from you? What advice would you give the author of the viral post after he broke things off with his fiancée if you could speak to him face-to-face? Let us know in the comments below.
