“Confessions of Childhood: 72 Women Reveal the Most Heartbreaking Lessons From Their Fathers’ Mistakes”
2) My father made me feel bad/embarrassed for loving him. Once I became a preteen, my affection was no longer okay. Pushed away from hugs, snide comments about notes in cards, and so on.
Treating them like a son you didn’t get.
It’s fine if you have ‘manly’ interest and want to share them with your daughter, car repair, camping , sports. Share away however don’t go around saying how you’re raising her like a boy, or how she’s the easiest girl ever because you share interest, she is not you stand in for a son. Support all he in stress even if/when she expresses interests that differ from you, in to ‘girly’ things, support that, don’t make comments about how girly it is, oh I’m sunrises you like that etc. She can do both.
I’m an only child, and before I was born, the doctors told my parents I was going to be a boy (apparently I’d curl into a ball during ultrasounds and the umbilical cord+a conveniently placed bubble made it appear that I had an extra appendage) but spoiler alert: I am not.
The gender disappointment has been felt for pretty much all my 22 years on this earth, and it has sucked so bad. My dad would try to get me to like the things he did, and I tried to form that bond with him, but it never really happened. We butted heads more than we got along.
I never really learned what meaningful relationships with men should be like (he was never abusive but parenting/being a role model wasn’t really his strong suit).
Anywho, now I’ve got trust issues and problems with self-esteem and needing to prove that I deserve love and attention. Thankfully I found a lovely boyfriend who gives me assurance and cares for me rather than taking advantage of my daddy issues 🤣.
Don’t treat her like other women that you don’t understand. If she’s crying on seemingly stupid things, don’t be like Oh “I don’t understand girls”, even if it’s just in your mind, just drop that attitude and try to be supportive and understanding. & don’t make her feel alienated or stupid for liking the feminine things (if she does) even if you don’t know anything about them.
Being afraid to do what she wants, even if that’s stereotypical little girl stuff.
I cherish the tea parties I was able to have with my dad growing up, painting each others nails, doing each others hair. It developed my perception of masculinity and I learned about caring about someone in the way they ask to be cared for, not in the way you’d prefer for yourself.
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