“Confessions of Childhood: 72 Women Reveal the Most Heartbreaking Lessons From Their Fathers’ Mistakes”
* Overprotectiveness / sheltering / isolating their daughters
* Body shaming their daughters
* Holding daughters to a double standard, essentially cutting them off from important opportunities and thwarting their ambitions and interests if they don’t correspond to “feminine” norms
* Not being emotionally available and, oftentimes, physically available (i.e. spending time with their daughters)
This list is specific to daughters; there are all kinds of other things that many dads (and moms) do wrong with kids of any sex or gender. (Also, it’s not to say that dads don’t screw up with their sons in these ways, e.g. body shaming or holding sons to traditionally masculine stereotypes, but that’s not what OP asked, and in any case in a patriarchal society these kinds of parental failures hit girls different than boys.).
My dad never prioritized his health or his finances adequately. He passed from a heart attack and left a massive amount of debt behind. I’ll miss him every day and always wonder why he did things the way he did.
Assuming the daughter will “marry well” so puts less effort and resources towards her education.
S**t shaming me because I wore a tank top. And it wasn’t even a spaghetti strap top it was a two fingers thick top. My older brother joined in and I just felt attacked. To this day if I dress nice (a dress and make-up) just to do errands he asks if I have to “wear that just to go to the store.”
Completely checking out of raising them because they believe their daughters are smart enough to raise themselves. well, i wasn’t! i needed help and got none!! also: abuse, teasing, inappropriate conversations, terrorizing, gaslighting, neglect, shall i go on? my father sucks.
My dad was simply a body in the house. Minimal to no conversations, workaholic, only really spoke to enforce disciplinary actions (including verbal abuse and physical discipline), showed love by providing a roof over our heads, but completely emotionally unavailable in every way. Mocked us when we cried, I think because he didn’t know how to handle emotions and it made him deeply uncomfortable (not to be intentionally cruel). He was a misogynist who loved Howard Stern, though, and he’d delegate any chores my mom gave him to us. I still remember her telling him to do something and then him going, “Girls!” Makes me laugh now.
He’d come home from work to hole himself up for hours with his porn addiction each day, holding up a flimsy piece of paper to block the screen and scream at us if we happened to open the door to the room he was in. And when he wasn’t doing that, he was watching war documentaries on repeat or paranormal shows that scared the c**p out of me.
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