Curious Glimpse Inside Obama’s Private Retreats: A Not-So-Victorian Follow-Up

Oh, wouldn’t you just love to be a fly on the wall for that evening? Picture it: America’s political power couple, Barack and Michelle Obama, extending an invitation to the entire nation for an intimate glimpse into their marital bliss. (That is, if you’ve got your passport for the land of satire!) Here’s a tantalizing question for you: Ever wonder how our former President keeps that ever-present smile in the face of global dilemmas? Could it be because the true, behind-the-scenes spice of their relationship has remained unseen? Yup, we’re breaking news with a bedroom reveal like no other. Grin through a cringe or chuckle through a chat, they’re willing to prove the old statement – “there’s nothing like a strong marriage to keep you strong.” So, prepare your pillows and dim the lights, because the nation’s foremost couple wants to ensure there’s no room left for speculation. LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—In an apparent effort to tamp down on recent speculation about their relationship, Barack and Michelle Obama reportedly showed off their vibrant marriage Friday by inviting the nation to join them in the boudoir. “Obviously, there have been some rumors swirling around myself and Michelle, and we’d like to put that to rest by letting the country into our bedroom to see the kind of passionate lovemaking we still embark on every night,” the former president said as he wrapped an arm around his wife and beckoned to all 340 million Americans. “The truth is we have never loved each other more. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable in the corner. I’ll blow out these candles. Y’know, if you pay attention, you’ll kind of see how I anticipate every one of Michelle’s needs—as she does mine. That’s the kind of sexual understanding that only comes with time. And hey, if one of you wants to reach in and give us a hand, feel free. No worries at all. This bedroom is a no-judgment zone.” After the 82-year-old was seen peering out of the closet, Obama told the nation to pay no attention to former President Joe Biden, stressing that he was just there to watch.