Dakota Johnson Reveals the One Secret She’s Never Shared—Until Now

Johnson: We finished them all! We have moved on to songs. 

The Onion: How do you prepare for a typical role?

Johnson: I practice looking directly at people while simultaneously looking past them.

The Onion: What’s in your purse?

Johnson: More bangs.

The Onion: How do you deal with the accusations that you wouldnt be where you are today if it wasnt for your famous family?

Johnson: Whenever someone says something like that, I kill one of my parents.

The Onion: It’s been 10 years since Fifty Shades Of Grey came out. What message do you hope people took from that film?

Johnson: That sex is immoral and disgusting.

The Onion: What’s next for you?

Johnson: I’m trying to learn “walk the dog” on my yo-yo.

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