“Dalai Lama’s Surprising Revelation: How Supertramp’s Golden Era Can Transform Your Suffering into Enlightenment!”

In a startling twist that has left both spiritual seekers and classic rock aficionados scratching their heads, the Dalai Lama has made waves by reevaluating a fundamental tenet of Buddhism. During a recent press conference in Dharamshala, His Holiness claimed that suffering is not the universal burden one might think—no, no! It’s merely the consequence of not tuning into golden-era Supertramp. I mean, who would’ve thought that the key to enlightenment could be found in the melodic mastery of “Goodbye Stranger?” Imagine the cosmic implications! Now, instead of meditating on the nature of existence, we might just need to queue up some retro tracks and get lost in those intricate arrangements. Is the path to nirvana truly lined with the sounds of 1970s prog rock? Join me as we dive into this unexpected yet delightful detour into the intersection of music and mindfulness. LEARN MORE.

DHARAMSHALA, INDIA—The Dalai Lama announced in a press conference Monday that he has revised his position that suffering is an inevitable fact of life and that he now believes life is only suffering when one is not listening to golden-era Supertramp. “I was recently lent a remastered version of Breakfast In America, and it went down so damn smooth that it completely shifted my stance on pain and the human condition,” said His Holiness, admitting that the proclamation upends the conceptual grounding of Buddhism’s Four Noble Truths. “Humanity can free itself from pain by throwing on “Goodbye Stranger” and cranking that shit up until you feel like you’re floating. Also, attachment to desire is totally okay if what you desire is the intricate musical arrangements and artful melody of Britain’s best prog rock band. The real path to nirvana is through the deep cuts on disc two of Retrospectacle: A Supertramp Anthology.” The Dalai Lama went on to condemn the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for its hateful anti-Supertramp stance and encouraged his followers to sign a petition supporting the band’s induction.