“Desperate Measures: Woman’s Shocking Ultimatum to Test Boyfriend’s Loyalty Backfires in Unexpected Way!”
The woman faked a medical emergency just to see how he would react, and the guy wasn’t happy
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We invent relationship tests because of our own insecurities
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Trust can be a big issue in relationships, especially if it’s been going on only for a few months. We want to feel secure in the relationships that we have and trust our partners, but sometimes, we might go about it the wrong way.
It’s tempting to test how committed to you your partner really is. Actions speak louder than words, don’t they? That’s why we might turn to secret games and lying. However, relationship experts strongly advise against testing your partner.
Coming up with tests for your partner to see how committed they are usually comes from a place of insecurity. Sadly, they seldom have the desired effect. As Dr. Gary Brown, LMFT, told Self, “These tests often backfire and actually can have the unintended consequence of doing damage to a relationship.”
Licensed professional counselor Jamie Simkins Rogers says that these kinds of tests are a passive-aggressive way to get the reassurance we need. “I do it because it feels better than making myself vulnerable by sharing honestly with my partner about my doubt,” she explains the mindset.
But inventing obstacles for your partner to jump over is only going to alienate them. As Tina Gilbertson, LPC, writes for Psychology Today, that’s how we create the distance in the relationship that we fear. “Setting up tests creates unnecessary conflict,” Gilbertson writes. “Even if your partner goes along with everything you want him or her to do, slavish obedience is not ultimately what you’re seeking.”
It’s better to openly share your insecurities with a partner and ask them to help you notice your testing tendencies
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