“Desperate Measures: Woman’s Shocking Ultimatum to Test Boyfriend’s Loyalty Backfires in Unexpected Way!”
So, what should couples be doing instead? Although the solution may sound overly simple, the answer is almost always: communicate! Instead of playing mind games, people need to tell their partners what makes them feel insecure in the relationship.
Simkins Rogers recommends asking yourself: “What do you hope your test proves or disproves? The strength of your partner’s love? Their commitment to you? Your incompatibility as a couple?” Instead of testing our partners, we should be telling them exactly what we are feeling.
Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, claims that relationship tests only punish the person conducting them. What’s more, they aren’t fair to the partner. “If you’re worried about your partner, you need to have a conversation about what’s bothering you. Testing your partner should never be the answer in a healthy relationship,” Vanderbilt writes.
Marriage and couples therapist, Dr. Gary Brown, told Self something similar. According to him, the best way to overcome insecurities is to be open and share them with your partner. “Couples who display courage typically have much better relationships, and don’t feel the need to test one another to begin with,” Brown said.
And if you catch yourself testing your partner, don’t be quick to judge yourself. According to Gilbertson, testers aren’t bad people. ” They are simply people who need understanding and support. Asking your partner to help you notice testing behavior sets your relationship on a collaborative footing, rather than a combative one,” she writes.
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