“Did I Cross the Line? My Controversial Confession About Body Types Sparks Heated Debate!”
These seemingly innocent comments can have very harmful consequences because we don’t know the reason behind how a person looks. The individual who lost or gained weight could be grieving, recovering from health issues, experiencing depression, or battling with an eating disorder. Reminding them of their struggles can make them feel even more self-conscious and stressed out.
If you can’t find something nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all
Instead of focusing on people’s physical appearance and making them feel conscious about it, we should move our attention to their character, talents, values, humor, and strength.
“Shifting the focus to personal qualities, achievements, or efforts instead of appearance can help foster a healthier self-image and reduce the risk of negative mental health effects,” said licensed therapist Ny’l Thompson.
“Instead, we’re focusing on people being worthy because of who they are, not what they look like,” explains Chelsea Kronengold, communications lead at the National Eating Disorders Association.
Dr. Elizabeth Wassenaar, regional medical director at the Eating Recovery Center, also suggests replacing appearance-related words with verbs signifying action. For instance, “You look so happy when you’re doing that,” “I wish I could be there with you, joining you in that activity” or “Gosh, it looks like the sun is warm, and you’re really enjoying it.”
By making this change, a person is moving from judgment to taking the time to engage with others and the environment they’re in, fostering a connection and a better relationship with them. “It doesn’t have a thing to do with whether their body is acceptable to society or not,” Wassenaar said.
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