“Divine Intervention? Trump Reveals Shocking Details of Near-Fatal Plane Crash”

In a world where headlines often sound like punchlines, President Donald Trump has taken it up a notch by claiming divine intervention saved his life during a dramatic midair collision involving an Army helicopter and a passenger jet over the Potomac River. This audacious assertion came during a press briefing where Trump stated, “Without the beautiful hand of God guiding that airplane away from the White House, I would have died in that terrible crash.” It raises an eyebrow or two—how much belief does one need to stay buoyant amidst such chaos? And let’s be honest, how many times have we witnessed Trump turning what should be a somber moment into a spectacle? The plot thickens as he insists that fate was on his side, all while ignoring a reporter’s pesky pointer about the plane’s intended landing at Reagan National Airport. Buckle up, folks, because this press conference is about to ascend to new heights! <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/TrumpClaimsGodNIBG-PH_copy.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—Saying it was only by divine intervention that he was still standing, President Donald Trump stated during a press briefing Thursday that God had spared his life during last night’s midair collision of an Army helicopter and a passenger jet over the Potomac River. “Without the beautiful hand of God guiding that airplane away from the White House, I would have died in that terrible crash,” said Trump, who when informed by a reporter that the jetliner was on its approach to a runway at Reagan National Airport and not heading toward the Executive Residence interrupted to point out that the investigation was ongoing. “It’s very sad, what happened. Very sad. But it also could have been Air Force One in that crash, you know? God must have kept me alive for a reason, because it could easily have been me.” The president concluded his remarks by pumping his fist and chanting the word “Fight!” to himself as aides ushered him away from the podium.