Emmy Awards Exposed: The Shocking Truth Behind Hollywood’s Biggest Night
If you could win an Emmy just for deciphering award show categories—wouldn’t we all be clutching our trophies in drawstring pants right now? There’s something oddly comforting about a night where Colin Farrell can dazzle in latex, sandwiches perform death-defying stunts, and the psychic wound of being British gets its turn in the spotlight . As Sunday, Sept. 14 approaches, and the 77th Primetime Emmy Awards prepare to beam more golden statues into deserving (and, frankly, baffling) hands, I can’t help but ask—are these shows pushing TV forward, or just stretching the definition of prestige TV until it snaps like a badly mixed hot dog bun? Either way, my SEO-obsessed heart can’t resist diving into the wild, weird, and award-magnet series that have captured the Academy’s feverish attention . Ready to argue with me about what “Outstanding Use of Inside” actually means? Fasten your best ironic air quotes and let’s break down the season’s most lauded contenders before the confetti settles and the Twitter snark starts flying . LEARN MORE
The 77th Primetime Emmy Awards will be broadcast on Sunday, Sept. 14. The Onion shares everything you need to know about this year’s most lauded TV series.
Adolescence
Synopsis: A psychological drama about every parent’s worst nightmare: their child being British.
Nominations: Outstanding Depiction of Boys Being Boys, Outstanding Dramatic Performance—Bloke
Most Memorable Moment This Season: When the camera operator trips and really eats it during the show’s one-shot take.
Andor
Synopsis: Star Wars.
Nominations: Outstanding Intellectual Property, Outstanding Series with Broadly Interpretable Themes
Most Memorable Moment This Season: Cassian Andor (Diego Luna) draining the game-winning three against the Galactic Empire’s starting five.
The Bear
Synopsis: Carmy (Jeremy Allen White) and Syd (Ayo Edebiri) spend the entire season working on a beautiful cake, only for Carmy to throw it on the ground after remembering his brother is dead.
Nominations: Outstanding Smell Mixing,
Outstanding Stunt by a Hot Dog or
Sandwich
Most Memorable Moment This Season: When Syd finally realizes her dream is to beat Bobby Flay.
Paradise
Synopsis: After the president is murdered in the postapocalyptic underground city of Paradise, citizens are legally required to use ironic air quotes when saying the name of their city.
Nominations: Outstanding Whatever This Is, Outstanding One to Skip if Your Life Pretty Busy Right Now
Most Memorable Moment This Season: Guessing the big twist during the opening credits.
The Penguin
Synopsis: That’s really Colin Farrell under there.
Nominations: Outstanding Fat Suit in a Limited Series, Outstanding Non-Batman Guy in a Batman Thing
Most Memorable Moment This Season: When the Penguin, during episode six, finally turns into the Joker.
The Pitt
Synopsis: In this high-intensity medical drama, Noah Wyle gets use out of all the medical-term pronunciations he already memorized for ER.
Nominations: Outstanding Intestine Design, Outstanding Hospital Bill—Final Reminder
Most Memorable Moment This Season: In the season finale, a frustrated Dr. Robby (Noah Wyle), tired of being challenged by administrators, slams his fist on the table and yells, “I’m a doctor! I went to doctor school! I have a stethoscope! I’m wearing drawstring pants!” and storms out of the room.
Severance
Synopsis: A techno-dystopian office has a surprising number of character actors working there.
Nominations: Outstanding Use of Inside, Outstanding Conversation Topic with Family Who Are Otherwise Strangers to You
Most Memorable Moment This Season: When Mark (Adam Scott) and his computer finally kiss.
The White Lotus
Synopsis: Showrunner Mike White funds himself another vacation, this time to Thailand.
Nominations: Achievement in Characters Starting Out One Way and Then at the End They’re Different, Outstanding Original Song (“Incesta Fiesta!” by the Hand Job Brothers)
Most Memorable Moment This Season: Gaitok (Tayme Thapthimthong), commiserating with fellow resort employees, remarks, “Issues of class and race are so heightened and pointed in a place like this.”
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