Ex-B-2 Stealth Bomber Pilot Unveils Shocking Bathroom Reality of 44-Hour Missions

Ever wondered what it’s like to pee while piloting one of the most expensive flying machines on the planet—a $2 million B-2 stealth bomber? Yeah, me neither, until I stumbled upon this bizarre tidbit. Imagine being holed up in a high-tech bomber, soaring through the sky for a marathon 44-hour mission, guzzling water to stay hydrated, yet having only a handful of “piddle packs” filled with kitty litter as your bathroom option. Sounds like a weird episode of a survival reality show, right? Poor Colonel Melvin Deaile and his co-pilot reckoned they went through 80 of these stinky little bags. It’s high altitude, high stakes, and definitely a high weirdness level when nature calls at 30,000 feet. Intrigued yet?
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It turns out that the realities of going to the bathroom whilst piloting a B-2 stealth bomber are pretty damn weird.

Last month, Air Force retiree Colonel Melvin Deaile spoke to ABC about a 44-hour marathon mission he once undertook during a visit to Afghanistan (the longest-ever for this kind of craft).

The jets are said to be some of the most expensive pieces of military equipment ever made, costing over $2 million to build, and have the capability to drop 30,000lb ‘bunker busting’ bombs.

Because long-haul journeys are incredibly common, what’s inside the aircraft is very important, as it only needs two pilots and is ‘much more spacious than other bombers’.

There’s even room for a sleeping bag.

But what if you need to use the toilet? Well, Melvin has candidly opened up about what’s inside the standard-issue ‘piddle packs’ for pilots, which are there to relieve them whilst on the job.

Using the toilet on a B-2 stealth bomber is a strange proposition (AlxeyPnferov/Getty)

Due to the high altitudes and pressurised cockpit they’re working in, pilots must drink tonnes of water in order to stay hydrated.

“We calculated we drank a bottle of water an hour which meant we had to go pee once an hour,” Melvin told the publication.

“So we made an agreement that we would only use the toilet for number twos and we would use the ‘piddle packs’ for number ones.”

According to Melvin, piddle packs are akin to zip-lock bags, but inside they’re filled with cat litter.

‘Sorry, what?’ you might ask, understandably, but there’s a practical reason for this stinky imitation of domesticated animals.

“The kitty litter combines with it to make it more gel-like so it doesn’t leak,” added the ex-pilot, who estimated that he and his co-pilot used 80 piddle packs in total.

Two retired pilots have recalled the realities of working inside one (Gary Ell/Getty)

Meanwhile, former Air Force lieutenant general Steven Basham was also happy to discuss the unique life of a stealth bomber.

Recounting a 30-hour flight he was involved in, he remembered the butterflies ahead of setting off.

“Even though we had adjusted our body clocks for many, many weeks prior to the mission, I remember still waking up early and I remember packing my larger-than-normal lunch,” he said.

Despite as many as eight sandwiches and some trail mix ready to go, Steven couldn’t build up any kind of appetite.

“You will eat just because it gives you something to do,” he continued. “My appetite really wasn’t there. Too many butterflies filling up your stomach — no room for any food.”