FEMA Director’s Baffling Reaction to Wind Leaves Nation Stunned

Can you imagine leading FEMA and being absolutely bamboozled by—get this—the wind? I mean, how do you even begin to manage disasters if you’re outwitted by a gentle office breeze? The mental image alone is enough to send my morning coffee out my nose. Watching someone in charge of national emergencies spin around, playing hide-and-seek with air like it’s a mischievous ghost haunting the office supply closet, well… let’s just say I lost hope in government resilience for a solid thirty seconds. Is wind the final boss in federal bureaucracy—unseen, unfathomable, always fluttering paperwork where it shouldn’t be? Buckle up as we dive into this comically breezy drama. <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/FEMAChiefConfusedNIBFU_PH.jpg”>LEARN MORE

WASHINGTON—Visibly unnerved after experiencing a slight breeze through an office window, acting head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency David Richardson reportedly became confused Thursday by the concept of wind, remarking that he didn’t understand how he could feel something that he couldn’t see. “Does anyone else feel, like, air moving across their skin?” the recently appointed interim director said to his staff, spinning around in an attempt to see where the sudden bursts of atmospheric movement had come from and wondering aloud why no one in his department was helping him find the seemingly invisible source. “It kind of feels like someone is blowing on my arm, but I don’t see a mouth anywhere. Wait, did anyone see that? My hair just moved on its own. Now those papers are flapping! This is so freaky. Quick, somebody go after it—I think it went toward the printer.” When reached for comment, Richardson told reporters he was joking and could “totally see the wind.”