RANDOM SHIIET September 5, 2024

“From Absurd to Hilarious: Discover the Strangest Conversations That Will Leave You in Stitches!”

I have to admit, eavesdropping is like a guilty pleasure that I just can’t shake off. I mean, who could resist the allure of catching snippets of other people’s lives unfold right in front of them? Sure, I usually do my best to respect folks’ privacy—after all, I’m not trying to start any unintentional feuds on the bus. But let me tell ya, those moments when I accidentally hit the jackpot with a hilariously absurd conversation? Pure gold. Picture this: earbuds in, I’m just minding my own business when suddenly, someone declares they’ve got an exorcist on speed dial. I mean, what kind of cinematic moment am I experiencing here? It’s not just me, either—Reddit has basically turned into a treasure trove of these uproariously funny overheard exchanges. So buckle up, my friends, and get ready to dive into a delightful collection of wild and wacky conversations that’ll have you chuckling louder than your annoying seatmate on the bus!I have to admit that eavesdropping is one of my favorite activities. I try not to indulge too often, to respect the privacy of others and because I typically have earbuds in while riding on the bus. But every now and then, I strike gold and happen to catch the most entertaining conversations without even trying!

Clearly, I’m not the only one who knows this experience, as Redditors have recently been sharing the funniest things that they’ve overheard strangers say in public. So enjoy scrolling through this list full of confusing and amusing conversations, and be sure to upvote the ones that you would have liked to hear more of!

#1

I overheard someone saying “tell the exorcist I’m on my way”.

I turned back to take a pick to who said that . It was a younger lady (40’s maybe) and an elder in her 80’s, and they were sitting behind me on the subway. Then I face front again and hear in a sort of a whisper “mom it’s not an exorcist it’s a therapist.” I couldn’t hold my giggles.

Image credits: anon

#2

Overheard on the phone, "well I’m sure the cat had his reasons, what did the cat therapist say?"

Image credits: ungo-stbr

#3

2001, Washington DC, A young couple sitting behind me in a movie theater, waiting to see The Lord of the Rings.

Woman: Is this, like, a made up thing, or did it really happen?

Man: This is real.

Image credits: HalfHeartedFanatic

#4

Bloke about sixty in Regents Park to a woman of roughly the same age: “Mum’s gone lesbian and I don’t know what to do.”

Circa 1981.

Image credits: ukhamlet

#5

I was in target passing the toy section and there was a mid 20s looking woman with her partner. They passed the the hex bugs and she said “oh I remember hex bugs! I used that as my first vibrator as a kid”.

Image credits: CptJaxxParrow

#6

In a fast food restaurant, teenage identical twin girls were working together and apparently arguing about something. One turns to the other and says “well you’re ugly!”.

Image credits: dreadmon1

#7

Him “You’re being such a b***h, go eat a snickers!”
Her “I’m alergic to peanuts, you a$$hole!”
Him “I know!!”

Bus stops in my old city almost always seemed to have crazy c**p going on.

Image credits: Separate-Life4570

#8

Sitting in an outdoor area of a cafe with some friends, and a couple of girls walk out of the cafe to where we were sitting.

One of the girls says “I’ll f**k the next guy that talks to me”. Friend of mine jumped up and said “hey how you doing?” (Ala Joey from Friends).. they’ve been married nearly 10 years.

Image credits: Optimal-Talk3663

#9

"She fit in the closet perfectly."

Image credits: Nefarity

#10

“Being gay is a religion.”

Image credits: Monokrohm2020

#11

At the ren fair one year my friend and I overheard a woman with a stroller say "shut up or you're going in the dumpster."

Image credits: Hide_the_Bodies

#12

At a big jam band show/hippie festival. "Bro, that wasn't unicorn meat… it was just turkey with glitter!"

Image credits: abbie_yoyo

#13

I’m cruising the fruits and veggies section at the grocery store, 2 female produce department employees are stocking the banananas. One, likely in training at the time, asks the other “Should the greener ones go at the back?” to which the other replies, “It doesn’t matter, a banana’s a banana, woman!” Right at that moment, a very large man on a motorized scooter with an oxygen tube in his nose comes around the corner and makes it apparent he only heard the last two words of the employees exchange by shouting “What the hell is a ‘banana woman’!?”

I laughed out loud.

Image credits: Darth_Ribbious

#14

Once I was walking by a movie theater. Two old ladies came out, and they were talking about that s****y Lion King remake from 2019. One of the old ladies was in utter shock and disbelief. She kept saying, “How did they do that? Did they use real animals?”

Real animals. In Lion King 2019.

Image credits: jimbomcjohn

#15

At a tattoo expo overheard a dude say ” I’m gonna get a tattoo above one of my nips that says smile you’re on camera”.

Image credits: Tmpeedle

#16

“She ain’t goin to the club, I guarantee it. She don’t drop it low for nobody but Jesus.”

-some girl on the phone in the university library.

Image credits: onlyexcellentchoices

#17

Whilst wandering around a castle ruin in Scotland, there was a group of youths (ages 10 to 15) walking up the steep, stone stairs from the basements. A chubby boy was lagging behind. When another boy chided him to keep up, chubby boy called out:

“I’M TRYING TO PRESERVE ME LEGS!”.

#18

Two nerds were sitting near me on the subway, and I heard one say to the other, “I don’t care what anyone says — *never* trust a ninja.”.

Image credits: wipeoutpop

#19

Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college."

Image credits: valjean816

#20

"Every time I dream about fish I end up being pregnant."

Image credits: IAmASolipsist

#21

While food running at a previous restaurant job I heard a 12yo say “and that’s when I called CPS”.

Image credits: Relevant-League3125

#22

“I farted on her plate and she still enjoyed her meal”.

Image credits: mastersheeef

#23

“Well it’s different for you – you’ve got veins!”

On the bus.

Image credits: naalbinding

#24

I saw these two guys arguing and one of them yells “Ij t vatt ca uallr” (neapolitan lol) that literally means “I’ll beat you up with my ball sack”.

#25

I was at Chick Fil A breaking up with my ex fiancé, when a mom was dragging her kid out of the play area.

Kid: “how did you even see me go in there?!”

Mom: “I have eyes everywhere, baby”

Kid: “…even on your BUTT?!”.

#26

“Edward! Bella! Git over here!”

-a mom in Oklahoma to her kids.

Image credits: Anishinaapunk

#27

Bartending in the west village one night, two pretty stereotypical finance-type guys are sitting having drinks and one says to the other with the utmost sincerity, “man, i just want what monica and chandler have. *that’s* true love!”.

Image credits: spit-casually

#28

“I always drink beer through a straw, it concentrates the alcohol so you get drunk quicker”

Overheard at a college party like 10 years ago, and it lives in my head rentfree.

Image credits: Sharcbait

#29

“How many milkshakes can you have, before you throw up?” – a guy talking to his friend whilst they were walking past me.

Been a couple of months and I still wonder that.

Image credits: Br0z0

#30

We were are a pizza place. Sitting at a table were a little girl, her mother, and her grandmother. Apparently, little girl was learning that “mommy and daddy have real names too” … but she wasn’t getting it.

So grandma asked “what does mommy call daddy?” And the girl just didn’t understand. Then grandma asked “What does daddy call mommy?” And the girl’s face lit up — now she understands! And with a huge smile, she answered that daddy calls mommy “A*****e.”.

Image credits: hymie0

#31

Some teen on a train station: "so what's a train?"

Image credits: NowAlexYT

#32

I was at an ice cream shop years ago, and a pair of English tourists were ahead of me, looking so cliche I could hardly stand it. He was skinny, hunched and balding, she was tall, broad shouldered, brash.

They got their cones, and the husband’s was a triple scoop in a waffle cone. His wife looked at it and, sounding like a Monty Python pepperpot (when they’re in drag), said “OOH! It’s a BIG one, Nigel!”

#33

“John Lennon was a talentless hack. Now Tupac, he could write a song.” Two teenagers on a train, suburban Australia, early 2000s.

#34

Was at the store and this lady had a small boy who was looking at the candy. He was about 5-6 years old I guess. He wanted some candy, and she said “you will get some tomorrow”

To which he replied
“Bull****t”.

#35

Was on a roadtrip, stopped at In-N-Out for lunch and after ordering I went to use the restroom. I was at the urinal when I heard two little boys (about 5 years old and 8 years old) and their grandpa talking. The older little kid said “I’m sure glad you came on this trip with us Grandpa.” The grandpa said “yeah, I’m f*****g glad too”, and the littler boy responded with “f**k yeah”. I had to try not to laugh.

#36

“Would The Muppets ruin the Passion of the Christ?”.

#37

I was taking a picture of the sunset at college and this guy walked by with his friends and he said “I painted that”.

Image credits: anon

#38

“Hardest thing being a dom is the guys keep falling in love with you” between two girls talking, late night at a taco stand.

#39

I was in a bar and walked past a table of 30-something women, just as one of them slyly said, “I learned something about Chad’s balls last night.”

That was about four years ago and I still wonder what the deal is with Chad’s balls.

#40

Overhead someone reference an event they referred to as "the dolphin incident" years ago.

Never found out what transpired but I still think about it every now and then.

#41

Husband and I were in Washington DC once near the white house, was sitting on a bench eating a donut and a woman on a street corner across the street was dressed as a nun, wearing fishnet stockings, and kept pulling her outer garments to her waist (exposing herself) while screaming “I’m celibate”. Weirdly it went on for the entirety we were there in the general vicinity (30mins or so) and she was still going strong when we left. Not a single person acknowledged her or made any attempt to stop her.

#42

A stressed father and his little son in the morning commute rush. The dad yelled at his son for not walking fast enough, with his back turned to the escalator. The son said “but daaad, it’s going the wrong way”, upon which the dad answered “come on for f**k’s sake, stop messing around”. Then the dad, still with his back facing the escalator, took a step back on it and just like the boy had stated, the stairs went in the opposite direction- consequently causing the dad to faceplant on the ground in front of the escalator. The dad: “Ooooouch! ….. Daddy was wrong, kiddo….”.

#43

While standing in line for the bathroom in a restaurant.

“You don’t always have to poop when you pee, but you always have to pee when you poop.”

So wise.

#44

Girl sitting in front of me during one of my night classes “ omg thanksgiving is on a Thursday AGAIN????”.

#45

I stepped up to the bar to close a tab and was standing next to a couple who I assumed were on a first date. I was only there long enough to hear the guy say “I’m not saying I’d do it. Right? I’m not. I’m just saying that I understand – in the right circumstances, like if you were stuck on an island, for like years – why someone would f**k a sheep…”

If your date said that to you at Cesar’s Killer Margaritas around 2016, I’ve been dying to know how the rest of that conversation went.

#46

On the London tube, in 2019, a Dutch young lady sat next to me. She was clearly on a “walk of shame”, and on the phone, describing, in some detail, last night’s sexual endeavours. She was obviously assuming no one could understand what she was saying.

My family was standing close. By the time she was done recounting how she and her date had made love for eight(!) hours, I asked my oldest daughter, who was standing next to me, whether she wanted to sit. In Dutch ?.

#47

In Ohio, lady standing in line at the Kroger deli, *screaming* into her phone, "Well, you know how they are at NASA!"

#48

My coworker was on her phone during downtime. Became very upset and switched from one call to another.

"He died, mama. No- Mama, he had the dogs. They ate his face."

Froze the room. When she finally ended the call she turned to us and said "Never do fentanyl."

#49

A man standing at urinal stall yelling “cmoooooon P*NISSS”.

#50

Listening in to public conversation between two young dude. “Just be her friend first. Get to know her… What if you get to know her and she laughs weird… … … What if you get to know her and she’s a big racist.”

In that order. Can’t be with her if she’s got a bad laugh. Or if she’s a big racist.

#51

A friend overheard 2 girl’s complaining about a boyfriend. And the 1 girl said “and that’s when he gave me herpes for the 3rd time!!”

Lmao.

#52

“Well, I write sonic fan fiction” heard inside of a gamestop.

#53

Dunno about -est, but this happened last week:

Went into the *men's* bathroom of a niche ski village breakfast diner – picture old antique ski gear, wood-carved bears and quaint German village mystique – and I overheard a *woman* in one of the stalls talking to their teenage *daughter* about something. Apparently, the daughter was constipated.

> Mom: Are you sure you don't want help?

> Daughter: No, Mom. I'm fine

> Mom: Okay, well, I'm just gonna step out and update your Dad, Kay?

> Daughter: Okay, go.

> Mom: And you're sure you don't need a book?

> Daughter: Mom, gosh, I'm old enough to handle my own business without my parents! How just go get Dad and leave me alone!

#54

Went to see one of the bale batman movies and they had a trailer for Superman at the start and a little kid said loudly enough that everyone could hear “I thought we were watching batman” which caused everyone in the cinema to laugh.

#55

Sitting in my car outside a Blockbuster, when Blockbusters were a thing.

Manager, to a dude: "There's no loitering here, sir."

Dude: "I'm not loitering, I'm just standing here."

Manager: "That's what loitering MEANS, dumb*ss."

#56

“Look I know she goes to *Church*, but she hasn’t been to, *you* know, *The Bay*. It can be confrontational for the young ones, I just don’t know if she’s a *good fit*.”

Not entirely unconvinced those two random suburban ladies in a cafe were not in a cult.

#57

I once found myself waiting for quite a while at a railway station. I don’t remember the exact circumstances, but I overheard a conversation between two women. One said to the other, presumably because their train was delayed, “we’ve got time, nobody’s waiting for us anyway”.

This has since turned into a running joke between my mother (who I was traveling with) and myself anytime we lose time waiting.

Image credits: _NAME_NAME_NAME_

#58

One time, while I was grocery shopping, I overheard a mom tell her young child not to touch anything in the store, because that’s how you get herpes.

#59

Hotel breakfast
Him: Can you make pancakes in that toaster? (the toaster with a big sign above it saying “do not put anything other than bread through the toaster”)
Her: I did… but they got stuck.

#60

One fine day on the subway in Toronto:

Four of us are standing, hanging on to the grab bars and hand straps, and chattering away in Esperanto. I distinctly hear someone nearby say, in English, “I have no idea what language those people are speaking, but it sure is loud!”

#61

I love listening to tourists walking around Disney World because they say the funniest things.
A few of my favorites:

A dad to a kid who was trailing behind tired lying.
"Come on, you can sleep on Ariel."

Another was a couple who were absolutely convinced the Monorail to Epcot was inside the Magic Kingdom. I still wonder how long it took them to realize how wrong they were.

And couple months ago two teenage girls were on their phones in Epcot and nearly walked right into us.
The guy behind us was like: "People like that should be popped in the face. "

#62

Couple standing at the self-service till in the supermarket. The woman goes to get her purse out of her bag and complains to her boyfriend that the ‘zip on zip’ is broken. He looks puzzled and asks her what a zip on zip is. She stares at him in incomprehension and gestures at the zip on her bag and says ‘The zip on zip! What do you think I mean?’. Both he and most of the queue behind them look at the zip on the bag, trying to work out what it is that makes it a zip on zip. There is nothing special about it. It is just a zip. He stares at it for awhile and then, in the voice of one who knows he is probably about to be yelled at, asks he if she just means the zip. She throws her hands up in the air and storms off, leaving him to pay for the shopping. He turns to the queue with a confused look on his face, like he is questioning his sense of reality. We all give him sympathetic smiles that aim to communicate that we have no bloody clue what she was going on about either.

#63

Once accidentally received a pocket dial of someone receiving their STI results…yikes.

#64

I was waiting in the emergency room with my wife and we deduced that this guy had tried to spice it up in the bedroom and stuck a carrot up his rear end and was not able to retrieve it.

#65

Had a weird convo on this Xmas eve. Husband and I walked into a Walgreens, go to the registers and the cashier comes up behind really close before going to the register. She’s looks at us, grins and say “were you just at McDonald’s?” We tell her no and my husband asks if she’s hungry. She smiles even bigger and says “No, I just have a really good nose.”

Was the weirdest convo we busted out laughing when we got outside.

#66

I’ve had some classes in psychology and worked in mental health. I live near the university in town and was standing in line at a grocery store when I overheard one young man say to the other, “I heard you have s*icidal tendencies”? I was absolutely mortified for 2.5 seconds until the other young man said, “Yeah, I just got their newest CD”.