“From Faceplants to Fails: You Won’t Believe How These 43 People Managed to Hurt Themselves in Outrageously Dumb Ways!”
The second – at work, I was taking some money out the till to put in the safe. Had to be quick as it was super busy. Grabbed the Dosh, ran to the coded door, put the wrong code in and rather than push the door open, I walked right into it…it didn’t open because I put the wrong code in. Another black eye, eyebrow piercing bled, and I smacked my head so hard into the door that I gave myself concussion and had to go home.
The third – in college, a friend and I decided to bunk off for the day and make cake. My mum had an electric mixer stick thing and I was showing my friend K how to scrape the excess mixture out of the hollow bit where the blade sits without hurting yourself. She was holding the stick so we could both see it…and she turned it on with my finger still inside. It didn’t sever the finger, but now my left index finger has a big scar and no feeling in the place above where the blade hit. After we got to the hospital and got everything sorted, she said to me “do you think we could still make cake with the batter if we scoop your blood out of it?” No, Kirk. No.
I am one of the clumsiest people alive and fall down the stairs almost every day, so there’s probably more but those are the 3 that I think of regularly.
I was removing the liquidiser blade from a stick blender and it was still plugged in. I said to myself with a loud inner voice – “DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON” The other half of my brain heard it as “Press the button” so I did.
It wasn’t so bad as the blade got stuck on the bone and didn’t liquidise my finger but I couldn’t bring myself to look at it until my wife, as if addressing a small child, made me.
