“From Outcasts to Warriors: How a Misfit Crew Became the Military’s Most Unlikely Heroes”
“They’re a bit rough around the edges, and dumber than bricks, but I know what they’re capable of,” said Ackers, stating that every one of the “losers” and “burnouts” had what it took to be shot through the eye by a sniper after giving away their position by absentmindedly boasting about the time they had felt up “an abso-
lutely stacked chick.” “You may see little punks with zero discipline, but I see warriors who’ll rise up when their backs are against the wall and be obliterated in an airstrike like they’ve been doing it their whole lives. I see brave soldiers who’ll be heading home mangled in body bags—that is, if you kick ’em in the pants a little.”
“When the time comes, and it seems like they don’t have a hope in hell, they’re gonna crash their armored ground vehicle into the side of a building and die screaming in the flaming wreckage,” Ackers added. “Guaranteed.”
After watching the recruits train and bond as a unit, Ackers’ superiors reportedly warmed up quickly to the idea that these misfits, some of whom had been manufacturing crude bongs in shop class just weeks earlier, could be disemboweled by a large wedge of shrapnel almost immediately, if they weren’t captured and tortured first. Given the surprising cohesion of the young enlistees, who are affectionately known as “The Wolf Pack,” some officers even suggested they could all be in a cemetery by Christmas.
“You never know how much new recruits like this are going to jerk you around, but there’s no doubt in my mind now that these kids are ready to be blown to pieces after fumbling their own grenades in a state of almost
animal panic,” Capt. Rhea Wallace said. “They might’ve been slackers once, but these youngsters are going to prove they can breathe their last agonizing breath while waiting in vain for a medic who has already triaged them and determined they are a lost cause.”
Post Comment