From Struggle to Luxury: What It’s Really Like Loving Someone Who Hit the Jackpot Overnight
Three years later and many $$$ spent on lawyers we dealt with our financial separation. Im now financially ok, while she is spending the rest of her $$$ on her new “lifestyle”.
My kids are no contact with her and so it’s up to me to ensure something is passed on to them for their future.
I was already pretty okay but during the course of 6 years, I got in a really good place where I can FIRE in two years. Him, an emergency room doctor but thought he could be a stand up comedian, stopped practicing medicine, got involved in real estate, while people made money during COVID out of real estate market, he lost money. Had to sell his house in Arlington, paid off the creditors, moved into a 1 bedroom apartment. Still no job, just side hustles with no money. Wanted to move in with me. He has 2 kids that he still needs to pay child support on. I said can’t move in with me, but I am open to moving in together to something we can buy together or rent. Does not have good credit for anything. We agreed to mutually break up because he said if we are not going to take the next step into our relationship, then we should not be together. I knew if we moved in together, he would continue to drift. He is back at practicing medicine after having to redo his credentials but still drifting as he cannot hold a job. Last I saw him, it looked like he was living in his car.
He went from owning multiple cars and homes to where he is today. It is not luck, he just does not want to work hard. His uncle is a big Bollywood character actor, and his cousin was a main lead actor before his career stalled due to some issues with a powerful bollywood family.
I knew if we moved in together, I would be doing his laundry, cooking and cleaning, taking care of his 2 teenage boys, one of them is special needs.
I just could not do it. We were not on the same page financially or mentally. I am on the path to FIRE, buying a place in Dubai to be closer to my family. He is still trying to be a stand up comedian.
My parents got divorced when I was about to turn 10. It was messy and the shared custody was pretty awful afterward.
I spent most of my time with my mom who had to move between different family members houses as she tried to build a life for herself, my brother, and me. I felt a deep dislike for my dad and my new stepmom as their life seemed to continue on and got better every year while my mom struggled.
I vowed to work hard and get a good career to be able to take care of me and my mom. It was always us against the world. She claimed she was taking care of me then so I could help her later. During that time she remarried an amazing person who made her happy and took care of her. Right before I started grad school he passed away due to cancer.
He had a sizeable life insurance policy that left my mom over $400k. That money completely changed her. She started spending money on extremely frivolous stuff.
Things like renting a hotel room because she didn’t remember the password to the the home network. Buying cars full in cash to “avoid debt”. Not paying her house off “since the mortgage helps with taxes.”
She had her kitchen and bathroom remodeled and spent almost $90k because she couldn’t be bothered to challenge the contractor on crazy expenses. My brother at the time didn’t really understand what she was spending and I was away at school.
She then went on to get a masters and PhD which in itself is fine. But she choose really expensive programs which further drained the money. She then refinanced her house further to partially fund the last of her student loans. The best part is that she isn’t using the degree for anything. She had no intention of using it to better her career other than having letters added to her name. Which no one asks about anyway since it’s not required of her job.
I just spoke to her about finances since she’s planning to retire soon. The life insurance money is all gone. She has little to no retirement as she’s hoping her deceased husbands benefits will be enough. She still owes $400k on a house she bought for $300k. And another $100k in student loans for which hasn’t benefitted her career in anyway.
Her response, “my life insurance policy should help and then you and your brother can take care of the rest.”.
My husband and were high school sweethearts, and both came from low income families. We married young & had our first child soon after.
My husband has an incredible work ethic paired with the ability to make good decisions and calculated risks. He now makes approx 100k a month and we have invested in shares and real estate, (both holding investments and flipping properties). I’ve seen him go from a broke highschool kid to a multi-millionaire now at 32.
He has of course matured with age, but I would say the most change I’ve seen has been in his confidence in himself and his abilities. He was also very hesitant to ever spend money on himself, but now will buy himself a shirt if he likes it. He’s incredibly generous & and attentive and loving husband and Dad.
