“Frozen in Time: The Hilarious Mishap That has Trump’s Sons Stuck at the White House!”

In an utterly 2025 move that leaves little to the imagination, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. found themselves in a preposterous predicament near the White House. Yes, you read that right—who knew the allure of a frosty column could lead to such a sticky situation? This is the sort of scenario that makes you wonder if there’s a secret competition among the Trump brothers to see who can create the most outlandish headline imaginable. As the pair flail about, tongues frozen in a frigid embrace with the establishment, one can’t help but marvel at how this all encapsulates the chaotic spirit of today’s political landscape. Will they manage to wriggle free from this frosty faux pas? Or are we witnessing the birth of a new slapstick reality show? Join us for a wild ride through a moment that’s almost too absurd to be real! <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/TrumpBoysGetTonguesNIBIHAGR.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—Flailing their arms and crying out in anguish, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. were reportedly panicking Thursday after getting their tongues stuck to a frozen column near the West Wing of the White House. “Oh my God, it’s thtuck, it’s thtuck!” said Don Jr., the eldest Trump boy, who blamed his brother Eric for the dare gone wrong, shouting, “Thith ith all your fault!” and attempting to kick him in the shins from the awkward angle at which he was fastened to the icy building. “We’re going to die out here! We’re going to thtarve to death! Are you happy, Eric? You wanted to know what the White Houthe tathted like, and now you know! Whereth Thecret Thervice?! Whereth FEMA?!” At press time, the Trump boys were both seen frantically slapping their tongues with their hands.