Gavin Newsom Reveals the Shocking Truth Behind Politics in Candid Onion Interview

If there’s one thing I’ve learned after years of navigating SEO landmines and the ever-shifting sands of Google’s latest mood swings, it’s that if you want to get noticed… you need a little bit of teeth. Gav—excuse me, Governor Gavin Newsom—isn’t exactly short on enamel, or biting commentary lately, is he? Glance at the news cycle and you can practically hear the grinding: Newsom gnashing away at Trump, polls tossing him a golden ticket for 2028, and political pundits already dusting off the crown for our next Democratic frontrunner. But strip away the glossy photos and well-rehearsed soundbites for a second—what is Newsom really made of? Is the art of trolling your rivals America’s hottest new leadership skill, or just another headline-grabbing stunt destined for tomorrow’s recycling bin?

Strap in, because The Onion sat down with Governor Newsom for a Q&A that peels him back like an overripe banana, and—trust me—you won’t want to miss his delightfully candid (or should I say deliciously evasive?) takes on everything from core beliefs to budget deficits. Ever wondered if politicians really believe anything or just check poll numbers before picking a hometown? Yeah, me too. Dive into this wild ride… LEARN MORE.

Gov. Gavin Newsom has gained increasing national attention for targeting President Donald Trump in the media, reportedly boosting his national standing as the unofficial Democratic frontrunner for 2028, according to polls. The Onion sat down with the California governor to discuss his political strategy.

The Onion: What are your core beliefs?

Newsom: Are those a prerequisite for being president?

The Onion: Where did you grow up?

Newsom: I need to check some polling data before I answer that question.

The Onion: ​A​re you running for president in 2028?

Newsom: ​Right now, I’m purely focused on alienating the people of California.

The Onion: How do you respond to accusations that you’re beholden to large donors?

Newsom: I assure you, there is no one I won’t betray in my pursuit of power.

The Onion: What is your solution to the homelessness crisis in California?

Newsom: A thick tarp, some duct tape, and a shovel.

The Onion: How are you working to fix California’s $12 billion budget deficit?

Newsom: By making fun of the president.

The Onion: What’s next for you?

Newsom: More teeth.