George R.R. Martin’s Secret ‘Erin Brockovich’ Sequel Promises Shocking Twists Fans Never Expected

Can you imagine spending more than a decade obsessing over exactly how to wrap up Erin Brockovich’s legal crusades—only to have fan theories and Wikipedia spoilers invade your writing space like an unexpected plumbing leak? Yeah, neither could I… until today . As if George R.R. Martin hadn’t put us through enough waiting for his fantasy tomes, now he’s turned his singular powers of literary procrastination to, of all things, an Erin Brockovich sequel! Talk about a plot twist nobody saw coming—except maybe the HBO execs already brainstorming spin-offs in a boardroom somewhere . Honestly, I’m torn between admiration for his commitment to obscure sequels and the gnawing fear he’ll announce a prequel series featuring baby Brockovich wielding a dragon-shaped briefcase . Just how much patience can mere mortals muster before the chromium-slicked saga continues? Ready for more head-scratching hilarity? LEARN MORE.

SANTA FE, NM—Stressing that fans of the franchise were about to be richly rewarded for their patience, author George R.R. Martin announced Tuesday that he had finally finished writing his sequel to the 2000 film Erin Brockovich. “At long last, the wait is over—my script for Erin Brockovich 2: A Kiss Of Chromium is officially complete!” Martin said in a press statement, adding that the project had stalled as a result of his involvement in other creative ventures, as well as his perfectionism and desire to give the Erin Brockovich character the ending he felt she deserved. “It took more than a decade of hard work to build out the setting of California enough to make this sequel feel real. But I think fans are ultimately going to be glad I took my time writing it, even the ones who spent years badgering me to hurry up! Now that it’s complete, I have plans for a prequel series set 8,000 years before the original Erin Brockovich.” At press time, Martin had reportedly delayed the sequel for rewrites after spoilers about Erin Brockovich’s life leaked on her Wikipedia page.