“Global Sensation or Worldwide Chaos? Cackling Hims CEO’s Bold Ultimatum to Control the World’s Erection Switch!”
“Now, you fools, midnight fast approaches, and I will turn my device to full blast, demonstrating the true power of my—of my—oh no, I’m…I’m…gahh!” an out-of-breath Ludlum said in his final dispatch, moments after the machine misfired and blasted him with its engorgement beam, causing the CEO to fall to his knees in a gasp of defeat. “Curses! Someone must have meddled with the Premature Ejacu-Ray setting. Hold on. No, it’s fine. Just leave me alone. It’s just… I said it’s fine! Don’t touch me. I just don’t like to be touched afterwards.”
“You haven’t seen the last of me!” he added. “But for now I must go rest and regain my strength.”
