“Gravity-Defying Escape: How Stranded NASA Astronauts Defied Odds to Slide Back to Earth”
When you’re floating 286 miles above Earth and your ride home suddenly malfunctions, what do you do? Well, if you’re a group of stranded NASA astronauts, you whip out an inflatable slide and take a joyride back to Terra Firma—who knew space travel could end with a splash? In a twist that sounds straight out of a surreal comedy show, mission leader Ray Harmon revealed they had little option but to deploy the emergency slide, set up at the Orion spacecraft’s exit. Can you imagine lining up, flotation devices in hand, hoping you’ll slide gracefully rather than plummet into the great unknown? Sure, there’s that little detail about potential fiery death upon re-entry, but hey, at least these astronauts can say they had a blast—or maybe just a “burning” experience! Hold onto your helmets, folks; it’s gonna be a wild ride back to Earth.
WASHINGTON—Given little choice but to deploy the safety measure, stranded NASA astronauts were forced to take an emergency slide back to earth, sources confirmed Friday. “After realizing that a mechanical failure had made it impossible to return to Earth in the Orion spacecraft, we released the 286-mile inflatable slide stored by the emergency exits,” said mission leader Ray Harmon, telling reporters that the assembled crew had lined up in an orderly fashion while holding their flotation devices in case they were sucked into the vacuum of space. “Fortunately we have protocols in place for this type of eventuality, and everything should go smoothly and comfortably for the passengers apart from a potential fall of a few dozen vertical miles if the slide lets out over a chasm or canyon.” At press time, Harmon confirmed that the ride down the slide had actually been kind of fun apart from burning up upon entry into the Earth’s atmosphere.
The post Stranded NASA Astronauts Take Emergency Slide Back To Earth appeared first on The Onion.
CHECK OUT ALL THE HOTTEST DEALS ON AMAZON!
Amazon Fire 7 tablet (newest model) 7” display, read and watch, under $80 with 10-hour battery life, 32 GB, Black
$79.99 (as of October 20, 2024 18:38 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
The Holistic Guide to Wellness Book The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies Holistic Herbal Protocol Book Herbal Remedies Book Herbal Protocols for Common Ailments Herbal Medicine Book Herbal Medicine Book
$13.99 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Inside out shirt, Inside out 2 shirt, inside out costumes for adults, inside out 2 costumes, inside out costume for kids, inside out tshirt, Inside out halloween shirt, Halloween matching shirt
$13.90 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
AstroAI L7 Tire Inflator Portable Air Compressor Cordless Bike Pump with Digital Dual Values Display, 150 PSI Car Tires Pump with LED Lights Air Pump for Cars, Motorcycles, Bikes, Balls
$20.99 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Electric Space Heater, Small Heater for Indoor Use, 500 Watts High Output & 2 Speeds, Mini Personal Heater for Office Desk Camping, Black
$27.99 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Uno Card Costume Shirts, Uno Costume Group Matching, Halloween Uno Card Friends Shirt, Board Game Matching Group, Uno Card Friends Shirt, Family Matching Costume T-Shirt
$12.97 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
OCOOPA Magnetic Rechargeable Hand Warmers 2 Pack, Card-Style Electric Hand Warmer 5000mAh, Pocket Portable Hands Heater, UL Certified, 3 Heat Settings, Tech Gifts for Men, Purse Must Haves, UT4 Young
$26.99 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
AUTOMET Long Sleeve Shirts for Women Business Casual Tops 2024 Fall Outfits
$13.49 (as of October 19, 2024 18:33 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Play-Doh Bulk Handout 42-Pack of 1-Ounce Modeling Compound Cans, Non Candy Halloween Handout Toys & Party Favors, Kids Arts & Crafts, Preschool Toys, Ages 2+ (Amazon Exclusive)
$16.99 (as of October 20, 2024 18:38 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
