“Heartbreak Unveiled: Why One Bride-to-Be Couldn’t Overlook Her Fiancé’s Troubling Past with His Ex”
Jealousy in relationships is completely normal, to a point, of course
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
This woman completely exceeded the point when she became blindly obsessed with partner’s past relationships
Image credits: avanti_photo (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ProfessionalKey3176
“It is normal to feel a twinge of jealousy over your partner’s past relationships”
“It is normal to feel a twinge of jealousy over your partner’s past relationships,” says therapist Anna Khandrueva. “It is when you are unable to move on and start to become angry, possessive, distrusting, or controlling that jealousy becomes unhealthy,” she explains.
“Jealousy becomes unproductive—and even harmful to the health of the relationship—when it starts to erode trust, dominate thoughts, lead to accusations, or result in attempts to control a partner’s behavior. If jealousy begins pulling you away from genuine connection or leads you to monitor your partner’s actions through its lens, it’s a sign to pause and explore where those feelings are coming from,” adds therapist Jenny Mahlum.
Such unhealthy obsession with a partner’s former relationships is known as retroactive jealousy, or the Rebecca syndrome, and often stems from insecurities, various anxieties, and past betrayals.
“If you have low self-esteem, you may look for proof of your own perceived inadequacy by comparing yourself to your partner’s exes. If your childhood wounds cause you to be terrified of being lonely and unwanted, you will fear that your partner will abandon you and get back together with an ex. And if you have a betrayal in your past, it can make it that much harder to trust again. About half of people who were cheated on experience PTSD-like symptoms that cause intrusive thoughts about infidelity,” explains Khandrueva.
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