“I Owe Her Nothing”: Woman’s Shocking Reaction to Ex-Husband’s New Wife’s Downfall Sparks Controversy
“Although acting in such an impulsive manner can be heedless, brash, and foolhardy, at the moment, this behavior is tension-reducing and emotionally gratifying,” he wrote.
Seltzer adds that acting out of spite and holding that grudge is an act of ego gratification that may justify vengeful behavior as “righteous.” This is likely why the stepmom believed she was in the right and continued to behave unreasonably.
However, such behavior may also be a case of vindictive narcissism. According to licensed clinician and therapist Hailey Shafir, LCHMHCS, LCAS, CCS, some signs include harboring resentment, having a “get even” mentality, weaponizing information, and failing to work through conflict.
As you may have read multiple times on this website, trying to reason with a possible narcissist is a losing battle. It’s why most experts would advise limiting interactions and keeping a distance.
However, Shafir also recommends using leverage to protect yourself.
“Most people aren’t used to thinking this way, but it’s necessary when you’re dealing with someone who only thinks like this,” Shafir wrote for Choosing Therapy, stating that this is a strategy to approach if setting boundaries won’t work.
In this case, the author’s “leverage” would be her children and their non-relationship with their stepmother. She wasn’t using them for such a purpose, which is commendable, and no one can blame her for rooting against her ex-husband’s new wife.
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