Inside the Secret Code of Swingers Clubs: The Two Golden Rules Everyone Swears By

Ever wondered what really goes down behind the velvet curtain of a swingers club? Spoiler alert: it’s a whole lot more than just cheeky glances and whispered secrets. But here’s the kicker — these venues aren’t the lawless, anything-goes free-for-alls some might imagine. Nope, swingers clubs come with their own rulebook, and it’s surprisingly strict. Think dress codes, hygiene musts, and, above all, a fortress of consent and respect designed to keep everyone feeling comfy and safe. Curious about the unspoken dos and absolutely don’ts that keep the vibe just right? Buckle up — this isn’t your average night out. LEARN MORE.

If you’ve ever wondered what actually goes on at a swingers club, the truth is… a lot. But what you might be surprised to know is that swingers clubs often come with their own strict set of rules.

For those who aren’t in the know, a swingers club, sometimes known as a lifestyle or play club, is a venue where adults can go to explore sensual and sexual experiences with other adults outside of their relationship, with the consent of everyone involved, of course.

Some swingers club rules will relate to dress codes, and there will almost certainly be regulations regarding hygiene. Most importantly, swingers clubs will always have strict codes of conduct around consent and respecting boundaries to make sure everyone feels safe and welcome.

Some swingers club say underwear and robes only (Getty Stock Image)

However, the owner of one lifestyle club in Merseyside has revealed two golden rules you should never break when visiting a swingers club, explaining she won’t hesitate to call people out for breaking appropriate etiquette when attending her venue.

Speaking on The Padded Cell Podcast, host Vicky was asked what not to do in a swingers club and she immediately had an answer.

“Following people around,” she said quickly, before going on to say she ‘doesn’t understand’ how people think they’re going to get lucky simply by following someone around and not even striking up a conversation with them.

Vicky, who moonlights as dominatrix Lady C, followed up by saying the kind of people who follow others around swingers clubs will often be the same ones ‘having a cheeky w***’ under their towel’, which is another big no, no in her club.

“And we call those, the w***ing dead,” she said. “We don’t really get it very much anymore. Again, it’s quite an old thing from years ago, I think it’s just because people know we don’t allow it.”

The podcast host even said she would be more than happy to Game of Thrones-style ‘shame’ anyone who is caught masturbating under their towel, adding: “It’s just not cool and I call them out, I shame them.

“Especially if he’s wearing socks with his towel, and he’s having a little w*** and you can hear his key jingling under his towel.”

Meanwhile, a married couple who recently opened their own swinging club revealed they’ve controversially banned ‘ugly’ people from joining.

Tanya and Ashley have been swinging for six years now (Kennedy News and Media)

Tanya and Ashley Marum started arranging meet ups of around 300 people after discovering that swingers are ‘such an accepting community of people’.

However, they admitted they now force people to sign up for events on a website, uploading a picture of what they look like, as they don’t want anyone attending ‘who the majority of people would think are unattractive’.