“Is Moo Deng’s Reign in Jeopardy? Meet the Chubby Challenger Ready to Shake Up the Hippo Kingdom!”
In the whimsical world of social media fame, nothing is quite as unpredictable as the rise and fall of internet celebrities—especially when they happen to be adorable zoo residents. Meet Moo Deng, the chubby pygmy hippo who’s been basking in the spotlight, only to find her reign threatened by the imminent arrival of a new contender—an even chubbier, feistier hippo that could upend her cushy existence. As she gazes at her reflection, Moo Deng can’t help but spiral into an existential crisis—will a lone viral photo of a watermelon-devouring hippo baby send her into the depths of obscurity? With her heart heavy and her stomach full, she opens up about the sacrifices she’s made to stay relevant, lamenting how fickle fame can be. Even the cutest hippos are not immune to the relentless march of time and competition! Oh, the drama of it all. For more on Moo Deng’s hilarious predicament, check out the full story here!
SI RACHA, THAILAND—Expressing concern over how long the joy ride would last, internet phenom and zoo resident Moo Deng told reporters Friday she was worried a chubbier, feistier pygmy hippo was coming to take this all away. “I’ve sacrificed everything to get where I am—everything—but it will disappear in an instant if some plucky upstart pygmy hippo comes along who’s so fat she can’t even run without adorably tripping over herself,†said Deng, staring at her reflection in a puddle as she ruminated about how just a single photo of a delightfully plump hippo baby eating a watermelon would be enough to bring everything crashing down. “Even the chubbiest of hippos don’t stay on top forever, I know that. When you’re No. 1, there’s always some sloth or otter trying to take you down. Hell, if it happened to [2017 social media star] Fiona the hippo, it could happen to me.†At press time, a zoo spokesperson confirmed Moo Deng was seeking help for abusing anti-growth hormones in an attempt to stay small forever.
The post Moo Deng Worried Chubbier, Feistier Pygmy Hippo Coming To Take This All Away appeared first on The Onion.
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