“Is This Mom’s Resentment Over Babysitting Nine Kids for Her Husband’s Hobby Justified?”

Many people in the comments under the story pointed out how the mom should get some free time on her own. And she admitted that she does; after a Sunday like that, she gets the next Sunday to herself having lunch with friends, going to the gym, etc.

And this illustrates an interesting point about how men’s hobbies differ from women’s hobbies. As creator Paige Turner, who often comments about the mental load and the challenges of motherhood, explained, men’s hobbies take them out of the house, while women’s hobbies often revolve around the family.

Men take up golfing, fishing, hunting, rock climbing, or, like in this case, trail running. Women, in turn, choose gardening, baking, reading, interior design, and such, which can all be done at home. Even if they go out to the gym or for brunch with their girlfriends, that doesn’t take up the entire day.

Research suggests that’s because moms have less free time than dads. Interestingly, married men in general tend to have more free time than their unmarried counterparts. In a heteronormative marriage, a man gains free time because household tasks often fall on the shoulders of the wife.

Husbands with children have approximately 25.7 hours of free time a week, while their wives have only 22.8 hours a week. Women, according to the researchers, are also more likely to socialize during their free time.

As Nia Carnelio observes in her essay on Substack “Are his hobbies more important than hers?”, even during family get-togethers, when it’s supposedly free time, women tend to spend time in the kitchen preparing the food for everyone. The men, in turn, sit by the grill enjoying a beer or two.

She also clarified that she doesn’t feel taken advantage of: “I just don’t enjoy my part!”

People had mixed reactions: some suggested asking for more help, while others suggested to either suck it up or quit the babysitting sessions