“Justin Trudeau Reveals His Most Confounding Secret in an Exclusive Onion Interview: Prepare to Be Surprised!”
Trudeau: You can’t get canceled for blackface if you don’t have a job.
The Onion: Should Canada join the U.S.?
Trudeau: And bend the knee to an old, out-of-touch billionaire of ill-gotten gains? Sorry, we already do that.
The Onion: Is there anything you would have done differently?
Trudeau: I would have jailed all those people who said I looked bad with a beard.
The Onion: What are your plans for the future?
Trudeau: Probably start a podcast with my buds and collect checks on the board of whatever Canada’s version of Google is.
