Mom’s Obsession with Sister’s Baby Gender Sparks Unexpected Family Fallout—What Happened Next Will Shock You
Is it just me, or does everyone secretly wonder what it’d be like to have the “perfect” baby—color eyes, hair, maybe a mini astronaut or ballet dancer in the making? Well, turns out, while most parents just want a healthy and happy little bundle, some are silently (or not-so-silently) rooting for a specific gender, which can lead to some unexpected family drama. Take this one mom, for example, who’s over the moon about her newest addition—regardless of whether it’s a boy or girl. But her sister? Oh, she’s practically on a mission, obsessed with finding out the baby’s gender. Whose side would you take when the curiosity gets a bit too intense? Here’s a heartfelt tale of setting boundaries, navigating family tensions, and facing the not-so-talked-about “gender disappointment.” Ready to dive into this episode of sibling showdowns and pregnancy surprises? LEARN MORE
A baby is a huge blessing. And most expecting parents just want their little one to be happy and healthy; everything else matters substantially less. But some moms and dads have a specific idea in mind of what their future children will look like, which can set them up for a load of disappointment if reality doesn’t match their expectations.
One mom reached out to Reddit for advice after her sister became obsessed with finding out the gender of her baby. Below, you’ll find all of the details, as well some of the replies invested readers have shared.
This woman is thrilled about the baby she’s expecting, regardless of its gender
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Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual photo)
But when her sister began obsessing over whether it’s a boy or girl, she decided to set some strict boundaries
Image credits: s_kawee (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ConstantWorry3662
Many parents have a preference in mind before finding out the gender of their child
When people find out that a woman is pregnant, the first two questions they typically ask are: When is your due date? And do you know if it’s a boy or a girl? Now, it’s entirely up to the parents to decide whether they want to know their child’s gender or be surprised on their birthday. But according to Motherly, 60-70% of couples just can’t wait that long.
Knowing the child’s gender allows the parents to decide on a name (if they’re not interested in picking a gender-neutral one), and it gives them months to envision a clearer picture of what their lives may look like from the time that their child is born. Many parents also look forward to throwing a gender reveal party to announce to all of their loved ones whether they’re having a boy or girl.
Most parents are thrilled regardless of what the sonogram results tell them, but some are secretly (or perhaps even outwardly) hoping that their child will be one specific gender. Gallup News reports that 36% of parents hope to find out that their baby is a boy, and 28% hope to find out that their child will be a girl.
Moms’ preferences, however, are almost evenly split, with 31% hoping for a girl and 30% hoping for a boy. Dads, on the other hand, tend to prefer boys, with 43% hoping for a son and 24% hoping for a daughter. And unfortunately, when parents form an idea of what they’re hoping their child will be like, they can often experience disappointment when their expectations don’t match reality.
According to Dr. Louann Brizendine, a neuropsychiatrist at UCSF, as many as 20% of mothers have experienced gender disappointment after finding out if they were having a boy or girl. “We assume gender disappointment is quite a hidden experience, yet [it’s] extremely common, especially in certain cultures,” Brizendine told TODAY.
In recent years, more and more parents have been open about their struggles with gender disappointment online. “I don’t think it’s a big deal to be a little disappointed just because you imagine one thing, and you’re going to have to go in a different direction that you … just haven’t imagined for yourself,” Bachelor alumna Ashley Iaconetti told TODAY.
Image credits: svitlanah (not the actual photo)
It’s up to moms and dads to work through their gender disappointment to ensure that it doesn’t impact their family
Clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay McMillan explains gender disappointment as “experiencing emotional distress when a baby’s s*x does not match” what the parents were hoping for. “Often there is a sense [of] grief for the ‘not having’ of a specifically gendered child,” she notes.
While parents can’t control their feelings when they initially find out the gender of their baby, it is up to them to work past their disappointment and make sure that it doesn’t end up impacting their children in the future. Parents.com notes that moms and dads must first accept their negative emotions to be able to get past them.
Then, it’s a good idea to try to get to the bottom of where exactly that disappointment stems from. Cultural expectations and societal pressure might be playing a role in this. Some parents also might have a fear of raising a child of one specific gender.
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