Mom’s Obsession with Sister’s Baby Gender Sparks Unexpected Family Fallout—What Happened Next Will Shock You
According to Dr. Louann Brizendine, a neuropsychiatrist at UCSF, as many as 20% of mothers have experienced gender disappointment after finding out if they were having a boy or girl. “We assume gender disappointment is quite a hidden experience, yet [it’s] extremely common, especially in certain cultures,” Brizendine told TODAY.
In recent years, more and more parents have been open about their struggles with gender disappointment online. “I don’t think it’s a big deal to be a little disappointed just because you imagine one thing, and you’re going to have to go in a different direction that you … just haven’t imagined for yourself,” Bachelor alumna Ashley Iaconetti told TODAY.
Image credits: svitlanah (not the actual photo)
It’s up to moms and dads to work through their gender disappointment to ensure that it doesn’t impact their family
Clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay McMillan explains gender disappointment as “experiencing emotional distress when a baby’s s*x does not match” what the parents were hoping for. “Often there is a sense [of] grief for the ‘not having’ of a specifically gendered child,” she notes.
While parents can’t control their feelings when they initially find out the gender of their baby, it is up to them to work past their disappointment and make sure that it doesn’t end up impacting their children in the future. Parents.com notes that moms and dads must first accept their negative emotions to be able to get past them.
Then, it’s a good idea to try to get to the bottom of where exactly that disappointment stems from. Cultural expectations and societal pressure might be playing a role in this. Some parents also might have a fear of raising a child of one specific gender.
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