Mysterious Wave of Ransom Notes Leaves Authorities Baffled
Ever stared down a mountain of mail and wondered, “Is it bills, junk, or just another charming ransom note demanding $10K and the foreskin of my sense of well-being?” Yeah, me neither—until I stumbled across the gloriously absurd saga of Todd Fincher, whose coffee table looks more like a hostage negotiation headquarters than a piece of Ikea furniture. Honestly, at what point does “I’ll just get to it tomorrow” turn into “Oops, did I just let Aunt Marge languish in a crawl space for six months?” There’s something almost, dare I say, relatable about Todd’s mix of shame, guilt, and low-level terror. If you’ve ever let laundry pile up for too long, imagine that—except you might discover a severed finger in your sock drawer. I grin, I wince, I check my own mailbox with a little more caution now . If you’re dying to know how apathy and ransom intersect in the funniest, weirdest way—LEARN MORE.
CORVALLIS, OR—As he tried to avert his gaze from the stress-inducing pile of letters seeking money, local man Todd Fincher remarked Tuesday that the ransom notes on his coffee table were really beginning to pile up. “I’ve been procrastinating on these for months because I just don’t want to deal with them, and now I’ve got a huge stack,” said Fincher, who explained that it was always easier to convince himself that mowing the lawn or cleaning the kitchen was more pressing, and that he could wait until the next day to withdraw 10 grand in cash from the bank. “Look at these. One for my son, one for my assistant at work, another for my mom. You just can’t get ahead in this economy. You pay to get your daughter back, and then two weeks later you get yet another picture of your wife locked up in someone’s basement. I keep saying I’ll get around to getting everyone back, but some of these notes are six months old or more, and I’m honestly just embarrassed. Some are addressed to the previous resident, too, even though I’ve written back to explain they haven’t lived here in years.” “What’s crazy is that I know I’ll feel better the second I don’t have Cara’s fate hanging over my head, and yet I still let it go month after month,” he continued. “I can’t even check the mailbox anymore, because it’s getting too depressing. It’s also starting to stink, and I’m worried there could be a severed finger or something in one of those packages.” Fincher admitted that while all the random notes were overwhelming, it might make things less stressful if he at least paid to get his dog back.
1MORE Triple Driver In-Ear Headphones - Silver - Wired - Adult - In Ear - 18 grams - 90 days limited warranty
(as of November 6, 2025 18:43 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Supa Ant 6x8ft. Welding Blanket Fireproof (Pack of 2) - Heavy Duty Weld Fire Blanket Tools - Welders Cover for Men Curtain with Gloves - Large Welding Gear for Welder Accessories
$59.96 (as of November 6, 2025 18:43 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
RIVER OF GOODS Coastal 52 Inch Wooden Bead LED Ceiling Fan, Brown
(as of November 6, 2025 18:43 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
RIVER OF GOODS Mid-Century Modern Transitional LED Bronze Chrome Ceiling Fan - 52" L x 52" W - Rich Barnwood/Light Driftwood Fan Blades - Metallic Ceiling Fan with Light and Fabric Shade
(as of November 6, 2025 18:43 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Post Comment