Mystery Deepens: Deepak Chopra’s Strange Disappearance Uncovered in Shocking Epstein Files
What in the ever-living chakras is going on here? Imagine meditating your way to enlightenment, only to end up lost on an actual island—and not even the fancy “find yourself” kind, but Epstein’s deserted disaster of a getaway. It almost makes you wonder: Is the universe sending Deepak Chopra some sort of cosmic prank, or has the law of attraction finally run out of patience? Honestly, the scene couldn’t be more surreal—HELP spelled out with stuffed animals, sunburnt wisdom, and a flare gun pointed at a statue of Zeus… Who needs hallucinogens when you’ve got this? If ever there was a story that made you question every guided meditation you’ve ever attempted, this is it. And, well, would you risk opening those emails? LEARN MORE.
WASHINGTON—Amid shocking materials that include a photo in which the word ‘HELP’ has been spelled out with rocks, seaweed, and several stuffed animals, a newly released tranche of Epstein files revealed Friday that Deepak Chopra was still lost on the private island of Little St. James. “From what we can gather, Chopra has been deliriously wandering the now largely uninhabited Epstein Island for years, crying out for food and forbidden eros,” said independent analyst Gina Mosley, adding that the alternative medicine guru had sent hundreds of urgent emails pleading for rescue and the sweetest sensual delights, and most recently had been seen looking sunburned and emaciated as he loaded a flare gun atop a large nude statue of the Greek deity Zeus. “He’s even kept a kind of video journal where he vacillates between saying tearful goodbyes to his family, friends, and fans, and striking a more hopeful tone on the off chance a 13-year-old is still on the island.” Despite the extensive new disclosures, sources told reporters that there are currently no plans to bring Chopra home.
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