Nation Rallies Behind Trump After Shocking Gun Incident—What’s Fueling His Growing Support?

Ever wondered what it would actually take for a president’s approval ratings to skyrocket overnight? A new jobs plan, a heartfelt speech, or—brace yourself—a loaded handgun pointed at every single American? Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Could a nation collectively raise its eyebrows higher?” According to this wild satirical satire from The Onion, all it took for President Trump’s numbers to rip-roar back up was a little show of firepower aimed straight at the heart of the republic (don’t worry, he only fired into the air—at first) . The entire stunt, brimming with dark, almost cartoonish absurdity, has even pollsters shaking in their boots. There’s something brilliantly deranged about imagining 340 million citizens suddenly loving tariffs simply because they’re staring down the barrel of presidential intimidation . Politics, am I right? If you’re ready for a ride into the mind-boggling world where approval ratings rise at gunpoint and democracy ducks for cover, you’ll want to devour the full story. LEARN MORE

WASHINGTON—In a dramatic reversal of recent polls showing a decline in the president’s approval ratings during his first 100 days in office, new surveys confirmed Tuesday that President Donald Trump’s support was surging after he pointed a gun at all 340 million Americans. “Ever since Trump pulled out a loaded handgun and menacingly swept its muzzle across the entire American populace, he’s seen a massive bump in favorability on everything from his handling of the economy to his views on immigration,” said Gallup polling analyst Eric Waltman, adding that Trump’s numbers had seen a particularly sharp spike after he fired a shot into the air to show that “he means business.” “When it comes to policies that a majority of the public previously opposed—such as deportations without due process and widespread tariffs—Americans seem to have changed their minds once they found themselves staring down the barrel of a live firearm. These numbers are even higher than they were when he pulled a knife on the nation in his first term. Despite a rocky start, Trump’s new message of ‘I’ll shoot, I swear to God I’ll shoot’ seems to be winning over terrified, trembling citizens across the entire political spectrum.” At press time, Trump’s polling gains had reportedly evaporated after he fumbled the gun and blew the nation away.