“New Citizenship Test Shocker: Immigrants Must Identify the States That Reject Them!”

Here’s a twist on what it means to be a new citizen in America! In a world where the land of the free meets the bizarre, the latest update to the U.S. citizenship test might leave you scratching your head—or laughing out loud! Imagine having to identify all the states where you’d probably feel more like a stranger than a neighbor. This isn’t just another quiz; it’s a crash course in navigating America’s intricate web of xenophobia in your quest for citizenship. Officials, apparently seeing the need for a reality check, want immigrants to map out not only the states of the union but also the states of unwelcome vibes! Are we really preparing our newest citizens for the heartland of America or merely handing them a list of places to avoid like the flu? Dive in for the full scoop on this latest twist in the naturalization journey! LEARN MORE.

WASHINGTON—In an update that will require those sitting for the exam to demonstrate the full range of skills necessary to take part in American civic life, government officials announced Monday that a newly revised citizenship test asks immigrants to name every U.S. state where they’re not welcome. “We want to ensure our newest citizens know what they’re getting into, so going forward, they’ll need to display a deep understanding of which parts of the country it’s really not safe for them to live in or maybe even visit,” said Ur Jaddou, director of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, who explained that after pointing on a map to the places where they’ll be met with cold shoulders, veiled threats, or open hostility, test takers will also be expected to detail the gross misconceptions held about people of their ethnic origin. “These immigrants love America, but before they participate in our democracy, it’s important they familiarize themselves with all the racial slurs they are likely to hear. What’s truly remarkable is that by the time they attend their naturalization ceremony, they’ll know more about America’s xenophobia than most natural-born citizens!” Jaddou confirmed that the test will also quiz immigrants on the process through which a bill intended to strip them of their newfound citizenship becomes a law.