Office Stapler Develops Disturbing Appetite, Leaving Employees on Edge
Have you ever looked at your office stapler and wondered, “Is this the apex of human achievement, or is it just holding my chaos together with cheap metal teeth?” I mean, I get it—we all want to feel some control over our lives, even if it’s just stapling three sheets of paper and pretending that’s productivity . But come on, who decided the office supply closet was a shrine to existential ennui? There, among the paperclips and dried-out highlighters, sits a stapler with stories to tell—probably more thrilling than last week’s productivity report . If you’re desperate for a headline that actually jolts you awake like a rogue staple in your finger, you’re staring at the right page. Want in on the absurdity behind the everyday? <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/StaplerNotNIBIHAGR-copy.jpg”>LEARN MORE.
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