“Santa’s Secret: Is Fairy Dust the Best Gift This Year or Just Glitter in Disguise?”

What do you get when you mix Christmas cheer with a sprinkle of Etsy entrepreneurship? In a hilariously unexpected turn of events, Santa Claus is kickstarting the holiday season by introducing a special gift: bags of “fairy dust,” hand-crafted by Mrs. Claus’ sister, freshly minted from her Etsy shop. Yes, you read that right—glittered magic in a pouch for just $29.99, plus shipping! Imagine the look on kids’ faces when they reach into their stockings and pull out a pouch of sparkly dust instead of that shiny new toy they were hoping for. But hey, it’s the thought that counts, right? Santa’s putting on a brave face, emphasizing the importance of gratitude, especially since Mrs. Claus’ sister has been feeling a tad underappreciated lately. Buckle up, because this year’s Christmas may come a little late—Santa’s production line is struggling to keep up! So, how will the good little boys and girls react to this enchanting new tradition? <a href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Untitled-2SantaConfirmsNIBIHAGR_copy.jpg”>LEARN MORE.

LAS VEGAS—Stressing how much it meant to Mrs. Claus’ sister to be included for the first time in the family business, Santa Claus confirmed Monday that as their present this year, all children would be receiving one of the bags of glitter labeled “fairy dust” that his sister-in-law sells on Etsy. “We’re excited that on Christmas morning good little boys and girls all over the world will reach into their stockings and find a hand-embroidered pouch filled with pure holiday magic,” Santa said of the bags that contain approximately 1.5 ounces of glitter and sell for $29.99 plus shipping on the e-commerce site. “While this may not be what they asked for in the letters they sent me at the North Pole, children on Santa’s ‘nice’ list surely know the importance of being thankful for what they are given! They should remember to be polite too, because Mrs. Claus says her sister has been going through a hard time lately and could really use our support. Ho, ho, ho!” Santa went on to state that Christmas would come a little late this year, as his sister-in-law needed more time to make enough bags for all the children on Santa’s route, having completed only 20 so far.