Scott Disick Reveals Shocking Family Secret to Son: Is "Loserism" Inherited?

What’s the expiration date on family “loser” genes—and can you spot the symptoms in an Instagram post? Sometimes, heredity isn’t limited to eye color and a tragic hairline—it’s lurking in the form of failed entrepreneurial escapades and the eternal quest for relevance . Staring into Scott Disick’s soul-searching gaze (or, at least, the direction his sunglasses are pointed in that photo), I can’t help but wonder—are we all one bad reality pitch away from our own episode of “hereditary mediocrity”? It’s a little horrifying, yet weirdly comforting, to know that even the Kardashian universe holds cautionary tales that would make Gregor Mendel weep into his pea plants . Dive in as Scott gets vulnerable, warning his son of the genetic risks that come with being the next Disick—and maybe, just maybe, hands him a roadmap to not winding up a club-party cautionary meme . If you’ve ever blamed your parents for your lackluster TikTok dance moves or that failed detox tea brand, trust me—you’ll relate . LEARN MORE

LOS ANGELES—Coming down to the child’s eye level in a moment of vulnerability, Scott Disick reportedly had an emotional talk with his son Tuesday warning him about his genetic predisposition to hereditary loserism. “I need to be honest with you, bud—early-onset loserism runs in our family, and there’s a 50-50 chance that someday, you might launch a scam vitamin business or open a Mediterranean fusion restaurant that shutters after three months,” said Disick, the reality TV fixture, social media influencer, and casual entrepreneur, who wiped tears from his eyes as he explained to his son that his recent house-flipping show only lasted eight episodes, just one of the many humiliating symptoms of his debilitating mediocrity. “I don’t want you to worry, okay? The loserism in our bloodstream isn’t fatal, but it will cause me to eventually leave the spotlight early. You’re smart, and I know you’ve seen the tabloids about me, but none of it is your fault. You just happen to come from a line of total deadbeats. If, when you’re a bit older, you notice symptoms manifesting, like you find yourself making club appearances or getting into crypto, don’t panic. You can still live a full life. There are options—reputation management firms, changing your last name—but this is something you’ll carry with you forever.” At press time, Kourtney Kardashian had also sat down with the son she shared with Disick to explain that he had very likely inherited her side of the family’s chronic need for attention.