Shock Upset at GMA: Michael Strahan Topples Diane Sawyer’s Surprising Show Record

Is there anything more gloriously surreal than imagining Michael Strahan, hands in the air, sacking co-anchor George Stephanopoulos before the espresso machine’s steam has even settled? Seriously, what’s the point of morning television if not an all-out, gridiron-inspired blitz between news legends like Strahan and Diane Sawyer? In a twist that would make even the NFL draft jealous, Strahan has muscled his way into Good Morning America history, shattering Diane Sawyer’s sacking record—and maybe a few coffee mugs along the way . The relentless hustle, the dramatic trades (Gayle King for a pass rusher, anyone?), and the mythic status of the “defensive anchor” truly make the world of broadcast journalism a contact sport—at least in The Onion’s wonderfully warped universe . If you’re wondering how one morning host’s journey from the field to the green room culminates in career tackles and legendary “blitzes,” you owe yourself the joy of reading it straight from the source . LEARN MORE.

NEW YORK—After months of closing in on the former news anchor’s legendary record, Michael Strahan surpassed Diane Sawyer on Friday as Good Morning America‘s all-time sack leader. “Throughout his career on GMA, Strahan has led the show in tackles, forced fumbles, interceptions, and, most importantly, sacks,” said producer Greg Emerson, adding that Strahan’s speed, strength, and ability to penetrate the offensive line and rush the passer had also earned him the title of ABC’s Defensive Anchor of the Year. “Many people said Diane Sawyer was, and always would be, the undisputed queen of the blitz. But despite suffering a pectoral injury and being put on the IR broadcasting list, Michael Strahan was able to recover, tackle George Stephanopoulos during an in-studio cooking segment, and beat Sawyer’s long-standing record of 140 career sacks.” At press time, Strahan had reportedly been traded to CBS Mornings in exchange for CBS all-time pass rusher Gayle King and CBS return specialist/backup wide receiver Nate Burleson.