Shocking Silence: Why Didn’t Anyone on ‘Pat McAfee Show’ Realize A.J. Hawk Was Dead for Days?
Is it just me, or has sports commentary officially reached the point where nobody would notice if half the lineup just wilted away on set—literally? I mean, you’ve got to wonder: how dead inside does a show have to be when a decomposing co-host blends right in with the banter about defensive lines? Dark humor aside—I can’t decide if I should laugh or shudder. The scene on The Pat McAfee Show is already wild enough, but now we’ve got A.J. Hawk’s ‘corpse’ decaying in the background while nobody loses a beat . Call it a case study in workplace neglect or the ultimate background character energy. Have we really become this desensitized to the noise on our screens… or has talking-head TV finally completed its evolution from lively debate to literal graveyard shift? Either way, I dare you not to glance over your shoulder after reading this . LEARN MORE
INDIANAPOLIS—With observers noting that the tragic development evidently has yet to affect the show’s content in any way, reports confirmed Monday that no one working at The Pat McAfee Show seems to have noticed that co-host A.J. Hawk has been dead for the last three days. “What’s-his-face has been dead since last week, but look, none of the other guys are even aware of it—Pat’s just going on about the Ravens’ run defense while the poor guy’s slumped over and decomposing in his chair,” longtime viewer Russell Barker said of Hawk’s bloated, putrefying corpse, acknowledging that the deceased talk show personality’s glassy, empty stare has grown even glassier and emptier since his passing. “You’d think someone would’ve picked up on the fact that he’s not blinking or moving, but Pat and the Toxic Table boys are cutting it up with Kirk Herbstreit like it’s a regular show. Or maybe they’re just tuning him out like they always do.” At press time, sources reported that a rat had begun gnawing on Hawk’s face as McAfee questioned whether Minnesota Vikings quarterback J.J. McCarthy would be able to adjust to pro-level pass rushes.
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