Taylor Swift’s Surreal Dream: What If Travis Kelce Takes Hollywood’s Top Prize First?

Ever wake up in a panic because your worst, most backhanded fantasy just wormed its way into your dreams? Picture it: Taylor Swift, pop royalty, jolting upright with the terror that her boyfriend—yes, Travis “Gridiron, Not Glamour” Kelce—might snatch an Oscar before she ever does . Oh, the horror! I can’t help but wonder—what’s crueler, the thought of your significant other leapfrogging your deepest ambitions or that visual of Travis getting called a “generational talent” in front of the world by Greta Gerwig herself? I mean, can you blame Taylor for feeling a tad green (or, let’s face it, Oscar gold) with envy? Buckle up—the hilarious nightmare scenario you never knew you needed is just getting started. LEARN MORE.

BOCA RATON, FL—Sitting straight up in bed in a cold sweat as she struggled to shake the horrifying image from her mind, pop superstar Taylor Swift reportedly awoke from a nightmare Tuesday in which her boyfriend, Travis Kelce, won an Oscar before she did. “It was horrible—they called his name, and I had to stand up and smile as he kissed me on the cheek before going up to accept the statuette from Lupita Nyong’o,” said the 14-time Grammy winner, breathlessly recalling the details of a dream wherein Kelce retired from the NFL to pursue acting, was cast in a lead role in a feature film, and turned out a surprisingly sensitive and raw performance that made him a favorite to win the Academy Award for best actor. “I know it’s just in my head. I mean, in real life he can barely read without slowly sounding out the words, but the thought of it still makes me nauseous. Oh God, he got to be directed by Greta Gerwig too, and she called him a ‘generational talent’ at the ceremony. I think I’m going to puke.” According to reports, Swift managed to fall back asleep only to return to the nightmare and watch as Kelce ascended the Oscars stage to accept a second Academy Award, this time for best original song.