The MAHA Movement: The Rising Force Shaking Up the Status Quo

Here’s a question that’s been haunting me: Is there some hidden gene that makes every American desperately crave a health movement with its own catchy hat slogan? Because just when you thought the wellness world had run out of acronyms, along comes MAHA—Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s latest attempt to sprinkle a little detox onto the political landscape. Seriously, who needs modern medicine when you’ve got beef tallow and the “natural power of leeches”? I can’t decide if this is a public health campaign or just a bold way to reunite with the most questionable members of your family tree. Does “rubbing some dirt on it” count as a universal cure, or just another Saturday at your cousin’s barbecue? Strap in and prepare yourself—because the MAHA movement is here, and it’s somehow even weirder than you think. LEARN MORESupporters of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. are cheering on the Health And Human Services secretary’s plans to “Make America Healthy Again.” Here is everything you need to know about the MAHA movement.

Q: What is MAHA?

A: It’s like MAGA but with food dye instead of immigrants.

Q: What is their official motto?

A: Rub Some Dirt On It.

Q: Who is behind MAHA?

A: It is a grassroots coalition of your worst cousins and coworkers.

Q: What is their main focus?

A: Making sure Americans live either much longer or way shorter lives.

Q: How does the movement propose curing disease?

A: Harnessing the natural power of leeches to purge ghosts from the blood.

Q: Why are they obsessed with cooking with beef tallow?