The Surprising Danger of Being Too Nice: What Your Doctor Wants You to Know

Ever caught yourself being “too nice” and wondered if it might actually be messing with your health? Well, guess what — being the sweetheart who always says “yes,” sacrifices the last slice of pizza, or avoids rocking the boat might not just wear out your social life; it could be knocking your well-being off-kilter too. Turns out, constantly putting others first while sidelining your own needs can sneakily pile on stress, zap your confidence, and manifest in all sorts of gnarly physical symptoms — from migraines to a rebellious immune system. But hey, not all nice is bad news. There’s a sweet spot where kindness sparks oxytocin, that feel-good chemical that’s basically a heart’s best friend. So, what’s the takeaway? Be kind—but remember to save some niceness for numero uno: yourself. Because if you don’t, your health could be the unexpected price tag of people-pleasing. LEARN MORE

Are you nice? According to an expert, it can negatively impact your health if it turns into one thing.

Nice people are those we typically gravitate towards, but there is a difference between being a good person and being ‘too nice’.

People who are too nice, are often doing it at their own detriment.

For example, they might give up the last of something they have, not stand up for themselves, or find it hard to advocate for themselves as they don’t want to cause a fuss or make the other person feel upset.

When it comes to health, it can mean that they put their own needs behind the needs of others.

For Dr Emma Hepburn, this is a behaviour that can negatively impact a person.

being ‘too nice’ can be bad for your health (Getty stock images)

She explained to Stylist: “It’s important to recognise when ‘being nice’ becomes problematic, which is when it starts to have a detrimental impact on our lives.”

She added: “For example, we may be so busy tending to the needs of others that we negate our own: we may say yes all the time when we don’t have capacity, and this adds to our load and stress.”

She continued: “This may show up in overaccommodating for other people’s needs and having difficulty recognising, expressing or asserting our own.”

Over time, this could hinder a person being able to take care of their own mental and physical health.

This is because suppressing your needs can be stressful in itself, and stress is ‘linked to many health conditions’.

The doctor also shared that it could disrupt our self-confidence.

Dr Faye Begeti, a neurology doctor told the outlet it could lead to the body being chronically stressed, which then leads to a physical manifestation of stress.

This could be as minor as a migraine, but it could also become IBS, and a lowered immune system.

It can manifest as chronic stress or physical symptoms like IBS (Getty stock images)

On the flip side, being nice can be beneficial for your cardiovascular heath, as per SSM Health.

“What studies have shown is that when we are either thinking about kind acts or witnessing kind acts or engaging in acts of kindness to other people, there are several biochemical changes that happen in our brain,” said Dr Bhawani Ballamudi, SSM Health child psychiatrist.

“One of the most important things that happens is that it releases oxytocin, a neurotransmitter that’s been studied extensively for its role in promoting a sense of bonding.”

The doctor went on to share how ‘kindness can be cardioprotective’ as it ‘can decrease blood pressure and cortisol’ directly impacting your stress levels.

According to Dr Ballamudi, it ‘reduces your blood pressure and improves heart health’.

“There’s also research looking at oxytocin and its effects on reducing inflammation. Reducing inflammation, in some ways, protects you from some chronic diseases like obesity, diabetes and cancer and that leads to overall better health and overall longevity,” they added.

Dr Ballamudi said you should also be nice to yourself, stating: “It is very important to be kind to yourself because we are all living in a highly competitive society and we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others and putting ourselves down,” she says. “We often engage in negative self-talk and that leads to negative feelings, negative emotions. This in turn can lead to anxiety and depression.”