“Time-Traveling Visionary: Man in Steampunk Goggles Makes Extraordinary Case for Segway-Loving Future at City Council!”
In the whimsical town of Essex, MA, a spirited debate unfolded at a recent city council meeting—one that had all the hallmarks of an epic encounter straight outta a comic book. Picture this: a local gentleman, sporting his finest steampunk goggles, passionately argued for the establishment of designated Segway lanes, claiming his safety was on the line. “I was nearly launched into the stratosphere while dodging speeding cars on my way to the silversmith!” he exclaimed. I mean, let’s be honest—who wouldn’t want a roadway dedicated to those magnificent, two-wheeled contraptions? It’s a funny thought, right? As we navigate a world of roaring engines and cautious pedestrians, could a mere lane transform our streets into a whimsical utopia where everyone—Segway riders included—could cruise without a care? Join me as we dive into this comically charged call for civic improvement and explore just how one eccentric man’s vision might just lead us to a safer, more inventive community!
ESSEX, MA—Urging those assembled to help make the town safer for people like himself, a local man wearing steampunk goggles at a city council meeting demanded Friday that members approve designated Segway lanes. “Yesterday, I was, once again, nearly driven off the road while on my way to the silversmith to procure a…
