Tourist’s Camera Unwittingly Captures Chilling D.C. Secrets
There’s nothing quite like a classic family photo to remember a trip—unless, of course, your holiday snapshot keeps getting photobombed by armored vehicles, riot gear, and what might actually be the world’s most poorly timed state-sponsored brawl. Is there a technical term for when your vacation memories get shot—literally—by some National Guard cosplay gone wrong? I imagine Stan Jacobs didn’t pack “dodging atrocities” on his D.C. itinerary, yet here we are: forced smiles, the Capitol’s splendor, and a relentless game of “Can you just brutalize elsewhere for a sec?” Sorry, Stan. Everyone’s got a shot to take, some more lethal than others. Might want to check if that camera’s waterproof though—just in case things get a little too… messy. LEARN MORE.
WASHINGTON—Emphasizing that he wasn’t going to leave the nation’s capital without getting one good photograph, D.C. tourist Stan Jacobs expressed frustration Friday after atrocities kept getting in the frame of his shot. “All right, everyone, looking good—just wait two more seconds until all those military guys finish shooting their assault rifles and hop back into their big armored tank,” said a visibly impatient Jacobs, who asked his family to give him a “big smile” and “say cheese” just as several National Guardsmen, FBI agents, and DHS officers sprinted into the foreground and began physically assaulting dozens of people. “Excuse me, sir? I know you have to do your job and brutalize American citizens, but could you just do it a few feet to the right? I only need two seconds without it looking like I live under a fascist police state. Actually. Could you take our picture? Just try not to get any blood on the lens.” At press time, Jacobs was reportedly struggling to crop in on the photo to hide the fact that an active member of the U.S. military had just shot him in the chest several times.
RIVER OF GOODS Farmhouse LED Ceiling Fan - 52" L x 52" W - Metal Caged Fixture - Rich Barnwood/Light Driftwood Fan Blades
(as of October 27, 2025 18:42 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Supa Ant 6x8ft. Welding Blanket Fireproof (Pack of 2) - Heavy Duty Weld Fire Blanket Tools - Welders Cover for Men Curtain with Gloves - Large Welding Gear for Welder Accessories
$59.96 (as of October 27, 2025 18:42 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Rhythm Superfoods Beet Chips Organic and Non GMO Vegan Gluten Free Snacks, Naked, 1.4 Ounce (Pack of 4)
(as of October 27, 2025 18:42 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
Supa Ant Fire Safety Ball as Fire Blanket for Home and Kitchen – Fire Protection Device for House, Office, Garage, Car
(as of October 27, 2025 18:42 GMT +00:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)
