Trump Issues Shocking Ultimatum to Russia: Ukraine Fate in 10 Days?

Have you ever wondered if international diplomacy is just an elaborate game of “Whose Deadline Is It Anyway?”—where the rules change faster than a TikTok trend and the prize is, apparently, global annihilation? Well, grab a tartan scarf and an uncomfortable sense of déjà vu, because President Trump’s whirlwind stop in Edinburgh is serving up deadlines with a side of existential dread. In one of the most audaciously bonkers (yet somehow vintage) pressers to hit the Euro circuit, The Donald decided 50 days was far too leisurely for peace—so he’s giving Vladimir Putin just “10 or 12” to turn Ukraine into history’s saltiest flatland. I have to admit, as a purveyor of SEO secrets and punchlines, even I struggle to keep up with headlines that read like rejected SNL sketches. Dark? Absolutely. Absurd? You bet! Yet here we are, asked to ponder whether international relations run on the same logic as overdue library books—except the only overdue fees involve tariffs and, y’know, population-existence ultimatums . If you need a laugh (or a reality check), trust me—this is one story you’ve got to see to believe. LEARN MORE

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Shortening the 50-day deadline he had previously given Vladimir Putin to put a stop to the war-torn country, President Donald Trump told reporters Monday he was now giving the Russian leader just “10 or 12 days” to end Ukraine once and for all. “I’m disappointed in President Putin, who has failed to halt this horrible country, letting it drag on and on,” said Trump, announcing that he would impose steep secondary tariffs on Russia should the civilian population of Ukraine still exist in any capacity in two weeks. “We cannot let this conflict continue any longer, so I’m giving Russia a hard but, frankly, generous deadline to discontinue all human life in Ukraine and leave behind a peaceful, completely uninhabited salt flat. This is the last time I’m going to say it: Putin, finish the job.” Trump also urged Putin to meet with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky in person and shoot him in the back of the head.